If a girl is in an abusive relationship and not happy, why won't she leave right away?

One of my good lady friends was in an abusive relationship and i found this out yesturday when we were talking. It made me really sad what this guy did to her and i myself don't get why guys abuse girls? For what reason? What is the purpose?

She should me some picutres of her bruises and told me she did everything for him (cook, clean, etc...) But this guy would hit her, steal her money, and kick her out of her own house! I was just overwhelmed. She truly did not deserve that at all. I didn't want to put any pressure on her, but if this guy was doing this, why did she not leave earlier? Better yet call the police, i told her to press charges on that asshole, so i hope she does.


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What Girls Said 1

  • Women stay because at first they believe him when he crawls back apologizing that it will never happen again, or that it will get better if she helped him by not aggravating him or pressing his buttons. It never changes but each time he apologizes you fall for it. after months or years of being controlled and abused both emotionally and physically they lose all self confidence, when your confidence is non existant you just give up, on hope that it will stop or that it will get better and just accept it for what it is. Many believe they deserve it because that's what they get told constantly, if your being told something over and over again you start to believe it yourself. Like brainwashing. Guys like this also use threats if you say your leaving or try to. Threats that he will hurt himself, you or your family and its the last thing you want so you stay... You need to help your friend realize she is better than that and deserves so much better, do her family know? The more support she has the more she is likely to believe she can get away from him or report it to the police, but until she wants to leave or get help there's nothing you can do besides be supportive. The police won't do anything unless she reports it herself

    • They already broke up. It really make me sad to read what you wrote cause she's a gorgous girl and did not deserve any of that, He did threaten her like you said. He took all her money, as in when she got a paycheck he threatened and stole her money, She is a confident girl i would say, you always see her happy, smiling, never sad. But i guess she was hiding it. She told me, then made a post about it on facebook and got a lot of support.

      I will forsure help her report that asshole to the police. i'll talk to her and comfort her and get self confidence up. When she spoke to me, she didn;t talk alike all the other times where she was so happy to see me and just filled with energy. I will talk with her again

    • Good the main thing is she's away from him. But yeah definitely try to get her to report it. Its never too late especially if she has pics or evidence. It feels so much better when you get justice for the shit they put you through

    • hey she should me pics of the bruises and all that crap, i'll help her out to report it

What Guys Said 2

  • i think it's difficult for a number of reasons
    -- the fear of being or desire not to be alone
    -- the belief that the person loves them deeply despite the abuse
    -- the belief that the person has so many good qualities and hopefully the negative one can be changed
    -- perhaps they witnessed or experienced abuse in the past so it becomes almost an expected aspect of a relationship
    -- a lack of self esteem and a feeling that the attention while negative is still attention

    • oh man, that is not good. I mean this girl is always happy and smiling and positive, her dad seems like a good guy, i dont think she got abused. Maybe she was waiting for him to change

  • Many times women think/ feel the guy will change or they can change him. It seldom if ever works out that way for the woman , and often time the guy will get more abusive. Why some guys do this is a means of degrading a woman and attempting to decrease her self worth thereby making her dependent on him. Psycological warfare

    • that sucks a lot. It's a shame guys do this to women, they turn into boys again.

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    • she broke up with him. Im trying to get her to report it now

    • Ahh I see. Half the battle is over then

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