How is this for the beginning of a short story?

Rachel had just got to school. She was with her friend Sarah, in another class. They were approaching their lockers and saw a boy in Rachel's class, Frederick Peters, getting his books out. Though just thirteen like them, he was the biggest tallest boy in their year. Rachel thought he looked different today. Was it his short blond hair? It was neatly brushed as usual. His smart grey trousers? No he always wore those, though the other boys mostly wore black. They were fastened with a black belt, which they'd not noticed before. As he turned round she looked up at his white shirt and navy and yellow tie and realised what it was. He normally wore a jumper.
'You're looking very smart today Mr. Peters,' Rachel said.
'Thank you,' Frederick said, surprised and, Sarah could tell, embarrased.
'Where's your jumper?' Rachel asked.
'I didn't want to wear it today?' he replied.
'You look very grown up,' Sarah said.
'Thank you,' said Frederick once more, 'sorry, I - '
'Mister Peters,' said Rachel, 'this is my friend Sarah.'
'Hello,' he replied.
'Pleased to meet you, said Sarah.
'Excuse me,' said Mr. Peters, heading for the toilets. 'I'll see you later.'
'Goodbye,' said both girls.
As Frederick entered the toilets, one of his friends, George was ahead of him. He was just entering a cubicle when he turned round and saw Frederick.
'Look at you,' said George. 'All dressed up. You going somehwere?'
'The toilet,' Frederick said, entering the cubicle next to George. George laughed and shut the door, as did Frederick.
'No jumper then?' said George.
'It's too warm for it,' Frederick said, unfastening his belt.
'You look really smart,' said George.
'That's what Rachel just said,' Frederick replied.
'You trying to impress her?' George asked.
'Maybe,' Peter replied.
'Does she know you're sat on the toilet?'
'Probably,' said Frederick. They both laughed. And then Frederick started to think. How strange Rachel had been this morning, calling him 'Mr. Peters'. What did it mean?


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  • its great.