Is it really bad or just curiosity?

I have a question for both the girls and guys on here. Do you think it's wrong to look at your partners phone whilst they're not in the room? Not necessarily cause you don't trust them but just out of curiosity. I looked at my boyfriends a few months back without him being there then felt extremely guilty after! So I told him that I did it and he wasn't at all bothered. He said that I can look at it whenever I want. But now I feel like I have to refrain from looking at it just cause I like to see what's happening. He knows I do it sometimes but not always. I feel bad about it and I do trust him but his female boyfriend I don't trust so much... so... what's your opinions? Is it wrong even If your partner knows about it? Is it worse if they don't?

*female best friend
* another note, he actually gave me his mobile password and he's got mine so we openly go on each others phones too but not very often, usually just to take silly pics for when they come back to their phone and change the background to our faces.


Most Helpful Girl

  • If your partner is OK with it then it's fine but to me your phone is personal and your own space. I have no interest in looking at a guy's phone as that's his private matter and I would appreciate if a guy didn't just snoop through my phone without asking either.


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What Guys Said 2

  • From the other person, there's probably only one perspective, but from yours, I'd say there's two:
    If you were just using his phone for something else (taking pics, use internet) and some message came in or smth, id it's ok.
    If you purpously had to hide from him so that you could sneak into his phone to check his messages looking for evidence... That's not cool, cause it shows lack of trust. (it's more ok, if there are clear signs of betrayal, but normally it ain't cool)

    But if he caught you on the act, your original intentions may not mean much to the way he perceives it.
    You may say: you shouldn't worry if you're not doing anything wrong. But that's not true. You may not be doing anything wrong, but some things may be still personal to him. It's like that NSA (hello if you're reading this :P) thing, even if you don't make anything ilegal, you still want your privacy. It's different things.

    In this case, he clearly was ok with it and wanted to show you that you can trust him.

    But why would you sneak up on him? Why not just ask: I'm bored can I use your phone?
    (yeah, I know that's bad, cause the day he says No, paranoia will kick in)

    Have you asked him about that friend?
    It's bad that you check just to look at evidence...
    How would you feel if he did that to you?
    It's OK to feel what you're feeling, just because you Can do it, doesn't mean you Should.

    I take it that you have found no evidence in these last 3 months, so I guess it's time to trust them both, don't you think?
    I guess I left more questions than answers huh..

    • I shouldn't say this, but recently a friend of mine got busted by his girlfriend, cause she guessed his Skype password and found out he'd been cheating... Heavily.

    • Oh yes I've asked many times! He assures me it's platonic, she is actually due to marry soon. I just get jealous of the friendship they have, I have mentioned this too but they've been friends d's for like 10 years so it's more my problem. I'm just protective, not liking her doesn't help!
      Thanks for your comment! It's interesting to see different people's perspectives on the matter. I'm aware that it's wrong but I just wondered what you guys thought!

    • Anytime :)

  • It's wrong only when I guy is cheating, and it's not wrong when the guy is faithful

    • Whaaaaat?

    • Show All
    • Mmm interesting, but you'd have to look In order to find out if they're cheating! Then if they aren't you'd just feel really bad.

    • Yes, but if they are cheating they can easily bring changes in call records and history, there are advanced application that can help you hide contacts of people you want, even keep your messages hidden with password..

What Girls Said 1

  • Yes. It's an invasion of privacy.