Adoption age difference?

This is not about me, but something I find curious. I saw a post online linking to a site where a teenager, aged 16, was looking to get adopted. In the comments, several young adults, aged 20-30, said they would adopt the kid if they had the financial means to do so. One couple of 22 even. Wouldn't that be weird though? To adopt a kid who is only 6 younger than you, and call him your child? It ultimately probably doesn't matter to the kid how old his adoptive parents are, he probably just wants to have a home and a new start. But how would that child-parent relationship work if they're closer to being siblings? Any thoughts?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Personally I think it wouldn't be a good idea. In my country, this wouldn't even be allowed but if it was and I had friends who wanted to do that, I would definitely tell them not to.
    I think there are several problems that might occur here. Firstly, it would have to be tested with the help of a psychologist whether this couple is actually mature enough to adopt a child. Some people are very mature at age 22 and can indeed have a child (my own dad was 22 when his first child was born) but there are also lots of young people who THINK they are mature although they're not mature at all.
    Secondly, adopting a child is already very hard. I know a couple who has adopted a child and it takes quite a lot to be good adoptive parents. It's definitely harder than raising a child of your own. Part of the reason for this is that you have no idea what happened to this child before you got to know him/her. Usually, adopted children had a very, very tough life situation before they were adopted (otherwise there wouldn't have been a need to be adopted in the first place). This means there's at least a chance that your child has some serious issues you might not even know about. For example the couple I know are good friends of my parents. I know them quite well. They adopted a little boy around my age when he was 2-3 years old. A couple of years ago, when we were both around 23 years old or so, this guy committed a very serious crime and will now be in jail for over 15 years. It seemed very strange for him to do that because his adoptive parents are both very smart, financially stable, loving and kind people. It just didn't make sense. Why would he do something like that although he's had such a great childhood? The reason most likely lies in his dark, pre-adoption past. He was born in a country with a civil war raging. Though it is not completely proven, psychological assessments have shown that he was probably traumatized very badly in his early childhood. His psychologist believes that both his real (biological) parents were killed in front of his eyes and that messed him up mentally/emotionally.
    Things don't always need to be quite that drastic but generally speaking, most adoptive children struggle in some way with their past. I don't think 22-year olds are fit and old enough to deal with that kinda thing.
    And finally, I also don't think it would work because a 16-year old would never accept a 22-year old couple as real, parental authority.


What Girls Said 2

  • This is an interesting question! I think you're right that it would turn into a sibling or maybe aunt/uncle dynamic. It miiiiiiiiiiight work for some people but I would be worried the younger people didn't have enough life experience to take on a child who would need grief counseling at the very least.

  • Honestly I'd love that if I was adopted by a couple aged 20-30