Can you change the way your parents shaped you to become?

I grew up with very critical parents, always pointing out the wrongs things we did and lots of name calling. I'm becoming just how they shaped me to be and I hate it. I don't know if it's even possible to change it? Things like these are passed down from your parents. My parents treat me the way they did because that's how THEIR parents raised them. I don't want to treat my children the same way

I constantly critisize myself and others, even when I persistently try not to. It's just lingering in the back of my head "wow, this guy is so bad at this, so bad at that, he should have done this, he should have done that". I have very low self esteem and constantly pessimistic.

  • It is possible to change
    Vote A
  • It is not possible to change
    Vote B
  • answers
    Vote C
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes. I won't allow my fathers actions to define who I am today. I won't. I am my own person.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes, I can understand what you are saying and I have read many articles like that. However yes, it's fully possible to change the way your parents shaped you, but it's not going to be an easy task, if you have always been the way your parents shaped you then it will be very difficult to suddenly change your thinking, your character just like that. Changing one's character is not an easy task, sometimes that can take years also.

    Hence your task is like climbing 10 times the Mount Everest, it's very difficult for you but nevertheless it can be done, so it's possible.

    Another point is you should be wanting to change the way your parents shaped you. You should be willing to put in the effort and time into this, there is support help available, there are people who can help you overcome this, but eventually you'll have to do it, nobody can do that for you, because if you don't care about your life, nobody will.

    Hence you need to decide if you have the strength to change the way your parents shaped you. If yes then it's good, otherwise it's really sad.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • My parents did a dysfunctional emotional train wreck on me and I still turned it around while suffering clinical depression and raised my child in a completely different way. My son is going places in life.

  • it's normal, just be yourself and you're your own self and shape


What Guys Said 1

  • Your parents shape you until a certain age, and then you start shaping yourself. If you do a better job than your parents that is up to you.