Is it really possible to instantly change a trait of your personality if you wanted to?

So I sort of answer my own question in my explanation, but just bear with me. Throughout the years I've always had problems with confidence. I was always a bit timid and one of those nice guys who did a lot for others without asking for much in return. I used to think when I got to a certain point in my life, or if I acheived something my personality would automatically change. I would think "Once I get to 'this' age I'll change. Once I start working out I'll change. Once I start getting attention from girls I'll change. Once I join the Army I'll change." Well, all of those things have happend and still I always felt the same and wanted to change and grow a bit.

So one day... I just did. No catalyst, no lifechanging event or accomplishment. I just said "I'm going to become confident" and I did. I suddenly didn't worry about being the white knight to females or the nice guy to friends. I just stopped caring what others thought and it's like I have a whole new life ahead of me. Even if things haven't drastically changed yet, I feel like I have much more potential now that I sort of have an inner peace with this.

In the back of my head though I sort of worry that if it was this easy to change, would it be just as easy to fall back into my old thought patterns? Can it really be that simple to just change something that I assumed was hardwired into my brain since childhood one day and just never look back? I'm just curious if any of you have had similar occurances or thoughts on the topic. Thanks!


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What Girls Said 1

  • Well, i don't think that you instantly changed a trait of your personality.
    You see the thing is we humans don't change instantly, we change gradually , little by little , every day, hour, minute and second, but you know we don't realise those little changes until those changes become so many that it's noticable, and then you get the idea that you changed all of a sudden but you didn't that's because you have been changing all along.

    It's just like when you leave your 5yr old brother to go somewhere for an entire year, and once you meet him again you say "Ooh you've become so tall and big" but he says "No, i haven't i'm still little" same goes for those people around him they wouldn't realise the changes on your brother but you would.

    I hope you understood what i mean🙈

    • I see and maybe you're right. Maybe the little changes I have done over the last few years have built up to the point where I was finally able to just realize the change one day.

    • Exactly , you understood me soo well!

What Guys Said 1

  • I tried to change, but for me its really difficult. I went to a psychologist for a year or so and I still feel shy and unconfident but less. I'm happy that you could suddenly change, maybe if something will let you down you can fall back to your old self but I hope that won't happen.

    • I was worried about something happening that would shoot me back down, but so far so good. I even got rejected by the girl I liked a lot and have been talking to for a while, but I was quick to just brush it off and say "I have a lot to offer someone, so if she feels differently there are plenty of fish in the sea." I just sort of stopped worrying so much about other people's opinions of me. I'm sure you'll get to that point too. Hell, people worse off than us have, lol. Good luck.