Feeling like maybe it's time to give up on love?

I'm 24 and I'm starting to feel like it's time to give up on love.

I have a decent job with potential to get better jobs in my field in a year or less. I am a licensed professional. I worked hard to get where I am. I had doubts but now I'm content with my field. I do want to switch to a new position at a different company but I have a niche.

Maybe I'll just get my own place and a dog. I live with family since I graduated in the spring and my job is new so saving up money first.

I am not loaded but I have a high level degree. I seem accomplished. But I've been unlucky in love.

Some daddy traumas. I've had quite a few boyfriends for only a few months or less. Most didn't lead to sex. I like to take it slow that way.

But I've been abused and mistreated a lot. Yet I'm so hungry for love from a man. It eats me alive. There's nothing I want more. And now I met a guy who seemed very interested but he is dating someone. He led me on big time and was hard core flirting. And due to circumstances I can't change now I have to see him daily because of work and it burns.

I've been so hurt and so many negative experiences that I give up. I feel like me finding a man with similar religious and other values who I love and loves me and respects me and wants to marry me is out of the cards. I've been to therapy but didn't help much. I am pretty good at self help. I've learned to have better self respect etc. but it just feels like love will never happen. I feel like men only want my looks bc I have big boobs on a small body and blonde hair and green eyes. But they don't stay. Maybe im too needy. I try not to be. But maybe they can sense it. I'm so love starved but yet feeling so hoprless.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Can I ask what you mean by daddy traumas?

    You talk in a very bland, emotionless way and monologue like I tend to. Have you ever looked up what aspergers is?

    I can't tell you that people won't lie to you or use you, because people do that. I can tell you though, that the only way to block out all of the bad is to also block out all of the good, because they tend to go hand in hand.

    What are your religious views that you think are so hard to match? I'm assuming you're not the "wait until marriage" type.

    Flirting doesn't necessarily mean that something is going to come out of it and I learned that the hard way... but if you had aspergers, it would explain an inability to connect with other people around you.

    I guess there's a checklist you can go through for things like "Are my standards too high?" "Am I doing something wrong to alienate potential dates?", "Are my issues getting in the way of this relationship or is it him?".

    You really can't do anything to change the world. All you can try to do is learn and change yourself... but at the same time, if someone else is the problem, you can't change them either.

    Seriously too, you're 24. My sister is 45 and just met someone 2 years ago. You're still young.

    • I don't have aspergers!!! What the hell!! Are you a therapist? Since when can you diagnose someone by words? Good friggin lord!!! I'm disgusted.

    • Dude what the hell
      How can you diagnose me without even observing in person. Even a psychiatrist can't do that. And no I dont have any mental disorders. I've been to therapy. Good lord.

    • That wasn't a diagnosis. I was just asking a question, and seriously, is that all you read of what I had to say? You missed the point entirely here.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I feel the same way. I'm not too old but I've never even had one boyfriend and it makes me feel awful.

    • Thank you for not being a dick like almost everyone else on here.

    • Yeah, I'm a dick for telling you there's still hope.. Are you sure you want help, and not just a pity party, because that's what it's starting to seem like. I was trying to be nice and you completely ignored everything I said.

      If you wanted to be patronized all you had to do was ask.

    • Meant to say pandered to, not patronized

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • *sings*... and it burns burns burns, the ring of fire, the ring of fire.

    Yes of course guys will be on you like flies because of your looks, obvious isn't it? You say: "Yet I'm so hungry for love from a man" - A man.. one man, any man? Remind yourself about self-respect, your self-esteem looks to be plummeting.

    Yes, you are too needy, that makes you manipulable. Takes one guy, like the slick you have to see every day to lead you on and the rest is fireworks for him. YES, we can sense it and so can you feel when your (dating) partner gets a bit crazier than usual.

    Of course he won't stay, why would he? You are, perhaps, too trusting, which, by the way, in and of itself is not actually a bad thing, but the problem is your Blind trust. Not every man is benign in his intents.

    • No
      Not any man. Someone I love who loves me and is good to me. That's actually hard to find.

    • indeed it is, that's why I don't foolishly commit to someone I don't know so soon. Avoids all the drama you're going through.

  • Your life has only just begun. I know it's tough but there's someone out there for you. Just take things easy for a while and he will come along

  • My story is very similar to yours. I know you are thinking about giving up, but I actually did around your age. Maybe 25-26 though. And it's only recently have I thought about giving it another try.

  • True story!! When ya give up looking it will just happen!

  • give up already? i think you are just... .


    • by the way if you dont learn to be happy alone you'll never achieve a healthy relationship.

What Girls Said 1

  • You sound so insecure... Is that an attractive trait for a man to want you long term?

    • Don't judge a person without walking a mile in her shoes.

    • Then why are you writing this in a dear diary style if you dont like people judging?