Who hurts more from a break up? Or does it depend on the person?

Is it true that after a breakup guys don't feel it until weeks later? And who do you thinks deal with break ups better, men or women?

I've been in a 2 year relationship that just ended. I'm really hurt, especially since it's the only man I've ever been with. Why do I feel like he really doesn't care? And if this is true, well he ever feel the pain I'm dealing with?


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What Guys Said 1

  • I don't think you can break this down on sex/gender. I'm a guy and I can't even tell you how hurt I was after my first long-term relationship ended. I felt it on the first evening. In fact - and I'm not usually mentioning this online and I'm not saying it to catch attention - I attempted suicide on that first evening because I was so crushed by having lost my girlfriend. It took me an incredible 3 years to get over that break up. So I don't think it has anything to do with being a guy or a girl.
    I think what matters is who terminates the relationship. In my case, my girlfriend broke up with me and I had no chance of convincing her otherwise. I wanted to talk things out with her but she didn't want to be together with me anymore (for a very silly reason). I would argue that usually, the person who has to endure being broken up with has it much, much harder. I'm not saying it's always easy to break up with somebody but at least you're in power. You are the one making the decision. It might be a tough decision, but it's still YOUR decision. Being broken up with can in some cases almost feel like a close friend or family member dying. If somebody dies, you don't have a say. It just happens to you and you have to somehow emotionally handle it. This crazy helplessness, despair, humiliation, frustration and sadness are much harder to bear.


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