My fiance handed me a prenup and I don't really want to sign it?

As it turns when he asked my dadd for his blessing, my dad gave him a prenup and said his blessing was conditional to both of us signing it.

I wouldn't have thought of having one since neither of us has money to speak of. My parents have money, it's true but I wouldn't get that until they're both dead AND inheritances are excluded from distribution, as is all preexisting assets. So I don't really see the point?
Whatever money we make in our marriage would bee fair to share 50/50, right? Because we got it together. I don't see the point of prenups in general

And anyway I don't want to start my marriage planning for how it ends, you can't go in with an attitude like that.
But my fiance now dead set on pleasing my dad and signing prenup. I don't really get why and I don't want to


Most Helpful Guy

  • If the prenup really "isn't a big deal" as u said, then sign the damn thing and move forward.

    If u don't want to give your husband the financial peace of mind while being married, then he doesn't need u as his wife.

    • he would have more piece of mind if I didn't sign it, because it excludes him from everything.

      I just don't like the idea of it, it's like setting up for failure before even trying

    • Show All
    • I was reading this question in passing while multi-tasking... sorry for the miscommunication. :)

    • But reality is reality. I'm sure your feelings of "setting up for failure" are not as severe as "my husband divorced me to take half the family pot."

Most Helpful Girl

  • Your dad should really have talked to you first before presenting the pre-nup. It's not his decision what you do in your marriage, that should be between you and your fiancee.

    I'm not really sure how the laws work where you live. But I can certainly understand why he is concerned. Divorces are rough, break ups in general are rough, but when you are married there are so many other things you must consider.

    Times may be great right now. But what happens if in 5 years time, things break down. One of you has an affair (hopefully not though!) and there are bitter feelings?

    You can't guarantee that things will be split 50/50. Besides, what if you have a really nice expensive car, and then a more economical car? How do you decide who gets what? Also, what about the house? What if you guys have kids and then the house holds sentimental value? It can be hard to think about these things. I think your dad was just looking out for your best interests. But I still think he should talk to you first.

    I can certainly see why your fiancee was eager to sign. He wants to marry you and wants to also please his father in law to be. I definitely think you both should sit down and have a talk about it.

    I know what you are saying about not wanting to start a marriage like that. But really you never know how things can turn. He could be the love of your life today and then 5 years down the line everything changes. You just never know.

    But it's up to both of you to decide what you want to do.

    • i think it is as his dad probably help the son (husband) to start his life. capital for a house or a buisness etc.

      he's like screw that you ain't taking my money i gave my son

    • @truthhammer it's MY dad we're talking about, his dad is dead

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 7

  • In fact, it's your dad who handed you both the prenup or did I read it wrong?

    • Well my dad got around talking to me about it by going through my fiance. And it wouldn't be an issue if we both agreed a prenup is not a good idea but we don't. He thinks it's a good idea

  • I would def want my partner to sign it

    I've heard way too many stories of women who use that leverage for a plan B and to black mail the husband.

    women of the 21st century are hustlers... lifestyle is top of the list for picling a partner.

    i ain't no sucka

    • not sure how any of your opinions are relevant to my situation. Unless you meant to say
      "... stories of MEN who use that leverage... " and "MEN of the 21st century are hustlers"

  • Nothing wrong with a prenup, it protects you too. Just be sure your assets are listed so he can't take things that you really care about of accumulated.

    • I know it protects me and so far, only me. My dad wrote it.

      I just don't like the idea of it, it's like setting up for failure before even trying

  • You parents dont want their money going to someone else in case of a divorce. I fail to see the problem.

    • It wouldn't. Even without prenup.
      I don't like the idea of setting up for failure before even trying

    • The fact is a prenub is NOT romantic. It does seem like you are assuming something may happen. so its hard. Try though not to think of it like that, look at it from your fathers stand point. maybe do this for him, because you understand his feelings on the matter. I am sure your husband know better. The fact he is so willing to sign only shows he has complete confidence in marrying you. To me if he didn't want to sign that is the real show of doubt.

  • Your dad can handle things with his Will if he is worried about money that you will inherit. A prenup will likely do nothing as you point out but since it doesn't matter just sign and move on. Who cares. Don't worry about it.

  • Smart dad.

  • Insurance policy for failed marriage. Means a breakup is expected. Many state also will toss prenups anyway, Easily invalidated.


What Girls Said 5

  • No WAY this thing would hold up in an American courtroom.

    First of all, judges in most states already give premarital agreements the side-eye -- they're kinda going in looking for reasons to invalidate the agreement, to a certain extent.

    On top of that, this is absolutely a case of what the law calls "undue influence" on yr father's part:
    * He had the willingness and the disposition to exert a contractual influence that you didn't want, AND
    * The transactien would not have been made without his undue influence.

    Undue influence is enough grounds to get this thing tossed, so, yr basically signing a meaningless piece of paper if you do decide to sign it.

    IANAL, so, you might want to talk to an actual lawyer for more specifics about yr state's laws.

    • My father actually is a lawyer and a good one. A well paid one at least, so I don't know but I trust he knows what he is doing

      Though I kinda agree, from what I understand everything covered in prenup is already covered by law, there's not use for it

    • Eh.

      I mean, there's more, even.

      * If there's no third-party witness to the signing, the contract is automatically invalid. The witness can't be you or yr fiancé, and yr father has a vested interest so it can't be him, either.
      Was there a witness when yr fiancé signed? If not, the contract is 100% null and void, right now.

      * If you don't have independent counsel (= yr own attorney) to consult, most states will consider that enough evidence of "signing under duress" or "undue influence".
      Some states even REQUIRE each person to have an independent attorney.

      * If yr father is a legal professional, then, ironically, that makes the "undue influence" case even STRONGER -- because the imbalance in knowledge/expertise between the two of you is much more stark.

      No way this thing could possibly hold up in any American courtroom. No way in sweet hell.

    • None of us signed it yet.
      His condition was that we both sign it. In fact he needs write a new anyway. He apparently had a copy from my sisters prenup lying around that he gave my fiance. But names and stuff need to be changed anyway

  • To me, a 'Prenup' Before the bouquet has even been Tossed is a Paper in Which... The Groom's own Butt is Protected.
    Perhaps with a small Clause, as you yourself Pause... Can Be Added with Something Special in Deed.. In case you Need.
    A lawyer, Anyone's Lawyer here, Dear... Can work wonders before the Bride takes her own Ritual of a Ride.
    '50/50,' You are So Right... And with this, he shouldn't Fight.
    Good luck. xx

  • Well just because if something does happen to your parents and you get their money- if your marriage does end lets say on a bad note your fiancĂ© (then) could be after everything you got, people turn into very different people once getting divorced (sometimes) and your father is just looking out for you. I know it's bad to sign it now because you basically feel as if you're already signing the promise of divorce but its really just to protect you.

  • Oh I think prenups are the way to go. I don't look at a prenup as a way to fail a marriage. I think it protects the man and woman/man and man/woman and woman. You don't know what flow has in store for you so it's always better to protect your assets

  • A prenup is exactly what you just explained it to be. Since you already know it's conditions, did you bring it up to your partner? If no, then you probably should. You should probably talk to your dad too.