Why do women love men who are not nice to them?


I don't understand it.


Most Helpful Guy

  • It's the challenge plus they're not as boring like the guys who are nice to them. Plus since these are usually the guys who have way more options in girls, they tend to stick to them.

    • Stick to whom?

    • Show All
    • If a guy isn't nice to you, he obviously doesn't really like you as a person and wants to use you cause you're easy and predictable to him like most of the other girls. The way to test the guys who are just being nice to get in your pants is by being very slow with everything. Don't give in too easily when it comes to sex and whatever. Test his patience. That way, you'll get to know him more and you'll have more time to observe if he's really as nice as you think or if he's just faking it. If the guy is just faking it, he will eventually lose interest and you'll know that he was just in it to play with your feelings.

    • Again, how do you know if this is all a game for him, or if he just does not care at all?

      I know for me, sometimes I'm rude to a guy not because I want him to like me but because I truly don't give a shit, I just want him to stay away from me.

      You know what I mean?

      Also about the guys faking interest: can it sometimes be that they want to prove something to themselves? Like if you're not paying attention to him, even if he doesn't like you he wants you to like him. There's this guy who I thought liked me because he was bieng so sweet and protective etc. but when I'm upset and I message him he almost seems annoyed.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Okay. Well, it's true that some women just fall for assholes. BUT.

    Remember -- Your reality ≠ my reality ≠ someone else's reality.
    YOUR "not nice", may be MY "tough love".

    I am a headstrong, stubborn, passionate, sometimes even belligerent, woman who does not back down from conflict. I know myself, and I can keep myself in check -- but, I need a man I can look up to.
    For a woman like me, "a man I can look up to" means a man with a strong-ass hand.

    A strong hand means he's gna talk to me and treat me in ways that softer people might see as "too harsh". But, that's exactly what I need, and I know it.
    My daddy's tough love kept me off the streets as a kid, and, my husband's tough love keeps my heart from wandering off in the same way.

    My man never loses his shit -- he never loses control, with me -- but he is dark, and intense, and not a sunny smiley "nice" person.
    A softer, more insecure girl could get ripped to shreds by him, even if he did nothing but love her.
    Just like I'd rip a softer boy to shreds, without necessarily meaning to do him any harm at all. Believe me, when I talk on here about how boys are just as vulnerable as girls are -- most of that I learned firsthand, and not on purpose.

    ... so, yeah. Your "not nice" is my tough love, and it's exactly what I want, and exactly what I need.


    Also, if yr on here asking this question, it's likely that you've just been hurt yourself, and/or have seen one of yr friends get hurt.

    If that's the case, then you are gna be over-sensitive to this kind of thing. Just like how you'd want to go into a really cold room if you were getting heat stroke, or how you'd want to eat really bland foods if you'd just burned yr mouth with spices.
    If you just got hurt -- or saw someone get hurt -- by this sort of thing, yr gna be extra-avoidant of it, and extra-likely to label everything around you as "not nice".
    So, be aware of that, too.


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What Guys Said 4


  • guess they like being ignored or mistreated

  • Because those men have something that makes the girl crazy for him

    • But there are better men than those men, so why that guy?

      I also have a crush on this guy who is not good to me. I think he's cute (or at least thought he was), but knew he was not that good looking. He's also smart, but there are smarter guys.

      So I don't get why I bother liking him. It's so puzzling

    • Like I said, there's something about him you really like. Sometimes we can't explain it.

    • I think it's because he made me feel as though I am not up to his level, (mostly because he was threatened by me as I speak very well).

      So by getting him to like me I can almost make up for my own insecurities, which often does wonder which amongst the two fo us was the smarter one

What Girls Said 1

  • Because many times he doesn't come to you with his true face a shining. He comes disguised as everything you think you want and plays the nice guy role for quite a while. He's manipulative. And often times those women are young and naive.

    • So for example, when I was really upset this one day, this guy ditched me in front of his friends to have fun, but on my way back home I ran into him and he was looking at me as though the whole world around him was irrelevant and he was so upset that I was not okay.

      I called bullshit on his fake concern, but always wondered why he bothered doing it

    • Some guys just don't get it, so he could have been genuinely concerned with your feelings, or he could be a genius at being a jerk. Follow your gut