What is it like to be depressed/what am I feeling?

Would you share what is it like to feel depressed? What am I feeling?

I know it's weird to ask this, but I will definitely not go to a counselor for these feelings I'm getting.

Background: (You don't really have to read this)
Like most people, I've felt extremely down randomly, but I'm usually aware of all my feelings which doesn't quite feel nice. I've had nights where I cry myself to sleep, even though I'm aware I'm basically having a 'good life'. I'm naturally socially awkward. I've never had a girlfriend, and as far as I can tell, and people have told me, I'm not bad looking. I don't really believe in friendship, even though I have my 'good friends' who I study/hang-out with, but mostly study. I tend to read books about love and fiction, write poetry and essays about such, and watch drama movies; everything just to emphasize and awake my feelings, since I feel an odd satisfaction. My grades in college are doing excellent, and I'm probably defined as an overachiever. It has now happened thrice that, for a slight second, I thought of suicide, but instantly pull off form that thought because of my parents' monetary investment in me up to this point; so pretty much their money in me keeps me alive.

Again, I don't really want to go to a counselor and speak about this to figure out if its just normal, or there's something else. I thought some people that have felt similar could share their thoughts with me.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Depression is usually defined as a loss of enjoyment with things you normally enjoy doing

    • Clinically, right? I don't have interest in meeting people at all; the few 'friends' I made in college were people who approached me. The only reason I keep doing homework/college/stuff is because I know my parents expect big of me; their monetary investment in me too. I feel I owe them way too much since they pretty much keep reminding me how expensive it is to keep me studying.

    • Show All
    • I am doing what I want though, its just that constant reminder of basically 'you're costing us a shiton, do something plz' that brings me down because I can't do nothing yet or produce any money. I already have a job to pay half of my costs and even tend to skip meals.

    • Talk to them about it

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What Girls Said 1

  • You feel like shit, u feel alone, not wanted. Unloved you just cry


What Guys Said 0

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