Why does my father always criticize me?

Lets get something straight:
1- I go to college and am doing quite well.
2- I have a job that pays well.
3- I have my own car
4- I have a beautiful girlfriend that cares about me a lot
5- I am healthy and love to workout and be active.

Why does he always feel like what I'm doing is wrong. He talks shit about everything.
1- "yeah you're in college but how do I know if you are doing well" yet I bring home good grades.
2- "watch I know they will fire you someday because you are not smart enough to keep a job"
3- "So what if you have a car, I had one when I was your age and I wasn't a college student"
4- "Your girl friend is a bitch, and you are stupid for not playing these whores" even though she's the sweetest person you will meet and is in med school.
5- "You're like a woman paying attention to your body and what you eat" yet he sits at home all day and is severely over weight.

I don't get what is up with him or why he feels the need to do this to me. He makes me feel like a failure when the facts show that I'm not.
How do I handle this?


Most Helpful Girl

  • It's difficult when you have close family members who are toxic towards you. If your father is unnecessarily rude towards you and it is impacting your life and relationship with your girlfriend negatively, I would either cut contact with him or talk to him. If your father is the way he is, I don't think talking would be much help.

    • You are right. Talking doesn't help any.
      It really is hard when you have worked so hard to make a success of yourself, but a person who is supposed to be encouraging you and proud of you puts down everything that you do.
      Like the other day I got mad and ended up putting a hole in the wall and cutting my hand. Even then, he looks at me like I'm the crazy one and that he had no fault in causing me to do that.

    • It's a tough decision because we all want our parents to be proud of us and encourage us. I'm sorry you have to deal with this.

    • I'm sorry I have to go through this too,
      but sometimes being sorry for yourself doesn't help.
      I guess I gotta just ignore him.

Most Helpful Guy

  • He's just trying to keep you from getting over confident. He doesn't realize that he's actually turning you into a sniveling, weeping girly-man, unable to function in society. But, hey, at least he gave it a shot!

    • I can function just fine.
      I've done everything on my own and achieved all that I have on my own. Sure, I went through a lot of hardships but I taught myself to be a man.
      It would just be nice to have a father who is proud of me.

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    • Yes he is. And his marriage with my mom was a failure and he doesn't have any friends or hobbies.
      But still, isn't that what parents should want for their kids? To do better than them? I'd want my kids to exceed me.

    • Sometimes when our lives don't work out as we'd hoped and our children are grown, our parenting urge gives way to our own vulnerability. This is apparently what's happening with your father. You may have to be the parent for awhile. Just don't let him in on it.

What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Guys Said 3

  • Tolerate him until you can afford to move out, then cut him loose. He'll learn one day when he grows old and lonely how petty all the jealousy or resentment was.

    • That seems like thats the best plan

  • Why don't you man up and tell him to stop?

    • You don't think I've tried that, numerous times throughout my life?
      He just won't... honestly, I dont think he can.

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    • I know, and honestly I know that he won't affect my life in the least.
      But for example: I see how my girlfriend's parents support her with everything. And it makes me resent him even more because he never gave me that. Even to say "I'm proud of you".
      It's funny how with all the successes you achieve, one person can make you feel like a total failure.

    • Then just hang out with her parents then, I guess. no point in being around miserable people

  • He doesn't like you.

    • I don't see why though.
      Like I havnt done anything wrong to him. I mean for gods sake last Christmas I bought him a $500 ipad. Like whats the issue.

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    • Thank you for your awesome advice.

    • I stole it from Palek. Thank him. It's in his archived advice.

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