and would you really care if someone is only faking?
Most Helpful Girl
Fake confidence becomes painfully apparent -- because it tends to POOF disappear without a trace -- in any and all of the following situations:
• Things happen that are unexpected, or not "according to script".
• The person with fake confidence is insulted, especially by someone who's actually *good* at dishing out insults (= the insult "pushes the person's buttons" in a very personal way).
• The person with fake confidence is challenged by someone with REAL confidence.
• The situation becomes stressful, or there's an emergency, or it's just a looooong day/night (tiredness has a dastardly way of bringing out people's true colors).
Also, even when things ARE "going according to script", here are 2 of the biggest giveaways of fake confidence:
People with fake confidence will try to make themselves look better by putting others down.
(People with real confidence will make themselves look better by boosting others up right along with them.)
People with fake confidence will DECLARE, EXPLICITLY, that they are X or Y thing/quality.
Faux confidence is very noisy and try-hand in its attempt to PROVE things, and to attain external validation. That's the biggest thing: People with fake confidence are constantly asking for validation from others -- even if that "asking" doesn't actually take the form of a question. (When someone says "I am smart/creative/dominant/"alpha"/bla bla bla... that's ASKING for others' validation. That's insecurity.)
People with REAL confidence ABSOLUTELY NEVER "declare" personality traits -- because they actually display those traits in their actions. There's no need to declare them, because there's no need to try to hoodwink anyone into believing anything other than what's in front of their faces.
I wrote about this in my opinion here:
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Most Helpful Guy
Anyone with real confidence can spot fake confidence from a mile away. i wouldn't care if someone was faking, but i will try to push their limit to see if they will break... I wouldn't say i have 100% confidence... but i have contingencies to make up for what im lacking and that is what a TRUE confident person does.1