More likely why don't we love those who love us and love those who don't instead?
I'm not saying i'm in the situation where i love someone who doesn't love me, but i've seen it a lot and it even happened to me before, but i learnt from it and it never happened to me again.
Most Helpful Girl
Most Helpful Guy
Okay. Here is an answer from an old person.
If a person has a happy childhood, they experience conflicts which get resolved, they pass through psychological developmental milestones, and the result is an adult who is capable of finding a suitable partner and having a mutually satisfying relationship.
BUT. . . if those conflicts do not get successfully resolved, a person can get stuck at that level of development and not progress further. Later in life, they will get into relationships with someone with whom they can re-enact the conflict, hoping to find a resolution of that which was not resolved in their childhood or adolescence. This is a subconscious process and if you ask someone why they are in a particular relationship, they will never realize their actual motivations; instead, they will have some lame, "I don't know. It's what I always do" type of answer.
The exam which is easiest to see is girls who don't resolve the competition for daddy's affections. Most girls go through the experience of this need, they compete with their mother, they are daddy's "little princess." Daddy gives them attention but also appropriately withholds it at times and demonstrates that wife/mother is the center of his life, not daughter. Daughter recognizes the reality of this situation and begins identifying with mother, emulating her behaviors so she can learn to be a good wife and mother when her time arrives.
Girls who don't resolve this conflict seek relationships in which they can get a surrogate "daddy's" affections, usually through sex. They get lots of sex but what they are really seeking is love and approval; failing to get that, they give more sex, trying to get a better result, but it doesn't happen. These women engage in an endless series of highly sexed relationships which are wholly unsatisfying and they are often labeled as nymphomaniacs.
So, you see, sometimes there is a hidden agenda in relationships and it is not always about finding a partner for mutual love, trust, and respect. I hope that this makes sense to you and helps you to understand why being in a relationship with such a person is so exceedingly difficult: they never consciously process and verbalize what they are truly doing with you so your questions never receive real answers.1