Seriously in need of advice... Am I wasting my youth? All I seem to do is become obsessed & chase after guys?

I'm 21. I'll admit, I am spoiled, my dad treats me like a princess. I get almost all I want (we aren't overly rich tho). My first job was last summer for a few months at Starbucks. I go to a private college & I study psych. I'm studious, and I do have a quick mind.

However.. I am not ambitious at all. I study psych but I am not passionate about it nor am I planning my future for it.

It's now summer (my dad is making me get a job since I spend quite a bit of moola on a daily basis), but my day consists of fluff. I wake up, eat, get pretty, go out for a few hours and shop or drive around and listen to music, and think about my existence. I have depressional tendencies and I experience this "existential crisis" where I can't seem to do anything.. nothing seems important so I fill my day with nothing.. Shocked by my own existence and this whole life. When I'm not just loafing around (sometimes high on pot as well), I go after my latest guy obsession. Every few months I become obsessed with some new guy I meet; he becomes a challenge I have to win... Sometimes it ends in heartbreak.. sometimes I just lose interest. Thankfully I am a really physically attractive person, and I have not had trouble getting almost any guy I pursue if he is single. Problem is, I go after the most unattainable hard to get men, and it takes all my thoughts and time.. And I feel like I Lose sight of MY own ambitions.

for example, a month ago I met a guy in a band. He is not looking to settle into a relationship now. But man, when I met him I was dazzled. Picture Brittney Murphy (Molly gun) from uptown girls when she meets that musician on her bday. I actually AM Molly gun! Damn. Im like little kid at times, my room is over the top, full of frill and decor yet a total mess; I don't work but I "need" to, I'm chasing after some dude and I get SO attached and dramatic early on.. I live in my own fantasy and.. I'm realizing now I can't continue bc I am not progressing.

What do I do?

Lol oh I didn't finish. This guy is seeing me when it's convenient but he isn't looking to settle. I wait around all day hoping to hear from him, I stay up nights thinking of him and wondering if he'll invite me over. I don't let him know how obsessed I am, but I'm sure it somewhat shows. I spent a few nights at his house.. I crave him in all ways, but I can't have him. And it's becoming even more
Of an obsession


Most Helpful Guy

  • First dtart going to a counselor... preferably a christian one. Possible your dad was controlling and abusive when young?

    Start going to church and find God.

    Third stop the drugs as they can cause problems

    Next start giving and helping. Volunteer or something to do something positive. Go on a mission trip to help poor kids... it gets yoir head out of your messed up world.

    The fuy thing is some kind of acting out of your inner wounded little girl.. probably craving love from dad u never got. Need counseling.

    • My dad is my absolute best friend. You are incorrect entirely on that.

    • Show All
    • sounds like high anxiety. I don't know, I think you need loving not sex, but there is something not going right... I h. thank you for the MHO!

      So your dad never abused you... ever... e. g. violated your space (other than for disciplining on something that was dangerous to you... right)?

    • No he did not. I'm his princess, his everything. He's protective, sure, but that's all.

      And ur welcome!

What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Girls Said 2

  • Figure out what you like and want to do for yourself. You just sound like you don't really have any direction because you basically got everything you've ever wanted, so the only time you've really had to work for something was to get a guy. It's going to be a little bit of a lifestyle change, but find something or set a goal for yourself that requires you to dedicate a lot of time and effort into it. Not sure if you're into these things, but one example could be training for a Spartan Race or a Tough Mudder. That'll take a lot of time, give you something to work towards, and make you feel accomplished at the end of it. Or maybe use your time to volunteer, with kids or old people or homeless people. All of this I think would be good for you to experience.

  • you need to get a job and focus on things that are more productive. you need to realize what responsibilities are, especially at your age.

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