My sister got a big degree from a good school.
Yeah she worked hard when she was there, I'm sure of that.
I got into the school twice, (once out of high school, once as a transfer). Both times I declined because I just wasn't confident I could be as smart as she was.
I lost a lot of self-esteem because my parents would compare us.
She's been a bitch throughout, only to me. Not to my brother, not to acquaintances with much less education than me, not to my completely devoid of education aunt and uncle, just me.
It makes me wonder, why me? Because we're closer to age and she wants to get all the attention, no other reason.
She humiliates me in broad daylight. Yet people take her side because she is seen as the smarter of the two of us. If she does something that makes me cry, people actually look at me irritated like OF COURSE. She's BETTER than you. She has a right to do that.
Yesterday, she barged out of her room and yelled, "KEEP THE VOLUME DOWN," to my father, and he listened, talking in whispers so as to not annoy her. Contrast this with memories of him actually laughing when I'm upset.
I don't understand. I get a large part of it is that they're intimidated of her, but WHY? She's not even working for God's sake she's been laid off since she was 22.
And of course I can't say anything. The moment I try to point out her faults I'm termed 'jealous,' I am so tired of it... I actually feel like just letting it go at this point because I never win anyways.
If she does something, it's okay because she got that fucking degree. And if I do something, it's not because I didn't there's no other way to put it.