Why do I always experience fear when people who I know are users try to contact me?

This guy I helped with his university work, he keeps trying to contact me and I know he just wants to use me up. He expected me to do all of this work for him and I don't want to do it again and also i do not want to speak to him because well, he was using me. He kept ringing me up and kept asking me to install things on his computer, do his work (almost do it all for him), keep helping him and he didn't want to learn when I taught him how to do it all himself.
Am I right in being fearful you think? It's not just him, I get fearful of anyone that is even remotely like that. Like another guy who kept asking me to send his resume to employers on his behalf.

  • Because you have been used in the past, you are moving on
    Vote A
  • Because there's something else about them that ain't right
    Vote B
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What Girls Said 1

  • Another part of the fear could be that you know you can't say no and will allow yourself to be used.

    • Nah. I can say no but maybe it's fear of conflict and being trapped. I was the victim of child abuse so that could be the reason why. Meh. I'll get over it. Thanks though for your opinion

    • No problem, I was just projecting anyway... I hate when people ask me for help because no matter what, I have to say yes. I'm an idiot, lol.

What Guys Said 1

  • I'm not sure if the emotion is "fear" or "aversion". If you're afraid of this happening then it's likely some form of anxiety from past events. If you're averse to these people, that's completely normal. I'm not sure what it is about your personality but, for some reason, these people feel like they can take advantage of you. Are you an introverted person or something? Do you aim-to-please? You're completely justified in saying "Piss off" and no one would blame you.

    • Well, I am getting therapy for post-traumatic stress. My psychologist has informed me that I am a very decent person and this means I do want to help people and that there are individuals that take advantage of that. So, I guess this guy (mentioned before) is one of those individuals. I've found that such people are slowly, slowly in their approach. They catch up with you, buy you coffees or food, then they confide in you and then BAM! they ask you for a favour, you do it and then they keep asking for favours. But when you need them for something, they're no where to be found

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    • No problem. Good luck with your therapy and with keeping these users away from you.

    • thank you. that's very kind of you :) i hope you have zero contact with users :)

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