I find the most charming, handsome men and they become gems while breaking my heart. Help?

I’ve noticed a pattern in my dating life. I will attract some of the most charming, attractive, funny, men with interesting life stories. They won’t be husband or serious boyfriend material when I meet them but by the time the relationship is over, they will be. This has happened more than once and it’s gotten my spirit a bit down. It’s like for whatever reason, our chemistry fizzles out or we have too many intense fights but they ALWAYS leave a better man than when they came. Like a complete 360, like their unknown, more mature, much better twin. It sucks and it’s sad. I’ll be so patient with them and then they grow and develop so that some other woman can reap the fruits of my labor. It’s like my heartache is the grindstone that polishes their minds.

This has happened to be with more than three guys who are now being enjoyed by other women. Why does this keep happening to me? What is it about me that has this effect on men? It’s a really sucky, crappy feeling how can I avoid it? Please talk me through this.


Most Helpful Guy

  • It just means you are still discovering what you truly want in an ideal partner. Nothing to beat yourself about! :)

    • It sucks though because I guess deep down, I’d like to think that karma is fucking with them and they’re getting their fair share of heartache but then I find that they’re being this loving, amazing guy that I waited around for and never experienced.

    • Like…I guess I may have kinda sorta possibly hoped their love life would be shitting all over them in epic proportions then I find out they’re enjoying some cute little, loving romance with another female and basically being better to her than they were to me.

    • Come on, you're just overthinking it! Have you ever considered the possibility that you were perhaps just not compatible with these men, and the other women they are dating now, are compatible?

      I'm much older than you, and have dated some shitty women in the past who cheated on me, lied to me etc. But I am still not completely sure about the kind of woman I am seeking!

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