I'm really frustrated with women?

I used to be a nice, generous guy who said hi to everyone back in middle school and high school. Girls told me I was the nicest guy in school, and I thought this would bode well for me when it came to dating later on, as well as just making friends like I always have. Boy was I wrong. From the attractive girls taking advantage of me when I was naive and would get used for homework help, to being laughed at when asking out "one of the hot girls" to being lead on over and over again. I love my guy friends because they always support me and get where I'm coming from, and some of them do have girlfriends, but some of them are in the same situation as me. Their girlfriends treat me ok, but I sure as hell wouldn't date any of them. They're all fucking nuts in my opinion. Slowly, I think I'm starting to realize that maybe girls aren't what I thought they were originally. I liked them a lot at the beginning in high school, thought they were perfect little angels that I wanted to cuddle with and kiss and love, but instead they just like teasing me and frustrating me and watching me suffer. Fuck them all, I thought. However, I always get to this point after being disappointed, and then I meet another girl who makes me think "huh, she seems sweet, maybe I was wrong". And then I usually get lied to in one form or another, and the cycle continues. My friends say that they don't understand, and sometimes we just laugh together at how bad our luck is, and go shoot some pool or play pong. But the thing is, I really do want to find love some day. Maybe it's because my 80% guys college is killing my chances at dating at my school? Perhaps I'm just not meant to find "the one"? I'm starting to consider going MGTOW and forgetting them all and moving on for good, but I really wish I hadn't become so jaded sometimes. I guess that's life though, you start off one way and the good/shitty experiences really change your outlook and lead you to make better choices for yourself.


Most Helpful Girl

  • You're frustrated because you had an unhealthy view of women to begin with.

    • You saw them as these "perfect little angels" nooooooooo
      We are human beings! Just like you, capable of mistakes, capable of manipulation and deceit. Just like men, there are good and bad ones.

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    • No problem also, putting yourself first is not exclusively a MGTOW belief.
      What was her bs excuse?

    • Something like "oh my senior project is super busy this week" or something like that. If it were me and a girl I liked asked me to do something, I'd likely make time for it so I figured she wasn't interested and said "oh that's ok, no worries" or something like that. So she's probably not interested, but I'm like 99% sure she found me very attractive at one point in time because she loved looking and smiling at me and playing with her hair haha. She's just one girl, but from what I've gained from her she has the qualities of a girl I'd like to be with. Good looking, athletic, smart, driven, mature but cute and funny at times, that stuff. Odds are nothing will ever happen between us, but it at least opened my eyes for what kind of girl I'm looking for. There are girls at my school who are more attractive for sure, but her characteristics make her hotter than them in my opinion. I just don't know if there is anything I can say or do about her anymore. We're friendly with each other and that's all

Most Helpful Guy

  • You seem to fit the stereotypical "nice guy" syndrome.

    Here's the general problem with nice guys: they're like American idol contestants who can't sing but plead with the judges, thinking they deserve a place in the competition just because they "want it more than anybody".

    The biggest problem with the general nice guy is that a very simple truth eludes him. Women don't date men who make the biggest effort or who care about them most. Women date men who project the most attractive and desirable qualities to them.

    That doesn't make girls into bitches. We do the exact same thing. We don't like a girl simply because she loves us so much and has romantic fantasies about us and thinks we deserve someone who really cares for our feelings (i. e., her, the weird stalker girl). Gross!

    It doesn't help when you're surrounded by feminine bullshit like, "Just be yourself" (female applause). The harsh reality if you want to start getting desired by the opposite sex is that you have to project attractive and desirable qualities about yourself. You have to make yourself desirable, sexy, and carry yourself the right way. That doesn't come from being attentive to a girl's every need and confessing your secret affections to her. It comes from being a badass.

    • Fair enough my friend. From what I've learned and been through, I think I'm going to stop trying for a while and just live life until she comes to me. If it doesn't happen, then whatever, but I've been through way too much harsh rejection and the negatives are starting to outweigh the positives for me. The girl I mentioned in a comment is the kind of girl I'm looking for, but our situation is not going to lead to any kind of relationship. And the more I thought about it, I'm not even sure I want to date someone right now. The whole love and affection thing would be great, but the whole dating thing seems like a crap ton of effort (and $$) and drama that I'm not ready for yet. Pretty much every girl I've met is high maintenance and requires a lot of attention, and I like to be chill. Doesn't take a lot to make me happy; I enjoy going on adventures occasionally but I also enjoy being quiet and alone at times too. Maybe several years down the road I'll find a good girl and a balance

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    • By that, I don't mean things like talking about yourself in a glowing way. A rock star wouldn't do that. I just mean kind of pretend like you have women competing for your affection, even if they aren't. Balance out those nice guy thoughts with arrogant thoughts, like the girl is lucky to have your attention. You can really carry this too far and come off as really obnoxious, but thinking this way a little bit can kind of help to balance the scale to your favor.

    • Definitely makes sense. Things will probably eventually happen for me in that regard, but at this point right now I think I just need to stop worrying about it because it'll only make me that much more anxious. Even if an attractive woman does want to go out and be in a relationship though, past experiences have made it extremely difficult for me to trust a woman other than my mother ever in my life. I don't know if I'll EVER be ready for any kind of marriage commitment, and would probably rather live by myself than ever do that. Maybe things will change in 10 years' time but I kinda doubt it.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • I' been frustrated with boys since 2nd grade... lol it'll be okay

    • What kind of stuff has happened?

    • there's too much to write down lol

What Guys Said 2

  • Well, to start off, you're pretty young. Some people don't find the love of their life until their thirties or late twenties. Maybe not even at all. Just depends on the person's path. Back to the nice guy part. Just be yourself but maybe you shouldn't so nice to everyone. I was like you but I learned to start fending for myself and stopped with the chivalry. Sometimes I don't even give a shit to hold the door open for women unless the person is handicapped or holding a lot of things. But just because you're nice, doesn't mean that you will or won't find someone. I probably won't find someone until my late twenties or early thirties. For god's sake, I hope I don't have to wait until My thirties to find someone lol I learned to become bitter and angry at times because just about everyone I know has settled down and I still haven't accomplished anything other than friendships. Trust me, you're doing fine

  • lol just lol