Being on the receiving end of my anger is a horrible experience and it usually causes permanent damage to bonds. I have a way of saying things people never forget and hurting them in a way that never quite stops stinging. To put it simply; I’m vicious. Absolutely vicious with no mercy in the moment. I won’t bore you with the details but let me just put it this way…It would be offensive to female dogs to call me a b*tch because I’m sure they would never say or do some of the things I have out of anger. I wish I could say that this was just a verbal problem, but I have gotten into various physical altercations and one time, I even ripped a door off of the hinges. My temper is so bad that I literately avoid any chance of physically fighting because I don’t know how that person will leave by the end of it and I don’t want things to get out of hand. I once hit someone so hard that she permanently has a scar on her mouth and it’s been there for years. That makes me feel so awful and I’m ashamed of having such a destructive temper. I want to be a better human being.
I’ve always had a fiery nature but I’m starting to realize that I misuse that intensity and it can really get people hurt. What are some healthy ways to redirect this fiery intensity so that it’s not destructive? What are some good self-discipline tips I can use mentally when I feel myself beginning to compose really mean sentences? Please help me out with whatever advice you can offer.
Most Helpful Girl
I have no self discipline advice for you, I can only tell you that I was exactly like you, minus the physical part. And the physical part was absent only because I knew if I ever started a physical altercation, someone wasn't making it out the same as they started.
I do know that at 19, after therapy didn't help one bit, my doctor prescribed an antidepressant called Effexor and it completely changed my hot head temper. It is super mild, I still have highs and lows, it has very low sexual side effects, but most importantly for me... instead of wanting to ram my car into someone that cut me off, it gave my brain enough calm to process my responses. It's not for everyone, but I've been on it for almost 20 years and have only had my dosage upped once. For me, no amount of self discipline could fix the chemicals in my brain.1