I think my sister dating s potential train wreck and its bothering me?

So my sister is dating this guy Who she Sees some future with apparantly. They have been dating for about 3-4 months, but he doesn't want to label it.

I know its not really my business, but they often disagree and its often because he doesn't give her the attention she wants, in addition to quite a lot of other things (she tells me more bad than good stuff about him).

On top of that he doesn't have a job and his father supports him financially, he is 25 years old. He had no degrees and no ambitions, games a lot and sleeps to 4-5 PM for the most part.

The things is that he is her first ever boyfriend /dating partner and it Seems like she lets him "get away " with things that she normally wouldn't find ok. He seems to push her to diet and be more active, but isn't very supportive when she actually makes an effort. And he often says homofobic and sometimes kinda sexist things, but when I comment on it she just says "but its just the way he is"

My sister is 20 and I doubt it will last very long, because of all the disagreements they have, but im affraid she will get dragged down with him and become this unmotovited woman with no degree to show for.

In addition he has depresssion which he doesn't seem to get any help for. I know I can't do anything and its not my life, but it Seems like she dates him because of low self esteem or because then she can say /think that she is disairable. Something I dont think she has ever felt before. Any advice om how to deal with this? She has so much potential


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What Guys Said 2

  • I agree sounds like a to-be train wreck!!! I think sisters have full right to voice their opinions in regard to issues like this. You genuinely think she is making a huge mistake, and therefore as her sister, it is your job to make sure she is informed! I would just sit her down, sister to sister, and tell her you love her and you want nothing but the best for her in life. Tell her you really feel in your heart that is guy is no good for her. Give her a list of all the bad things, like the ones you mentioned here. Stress to her how bad he looks for being 25 and having no career yet and not even making an attempt for one. Tell her this guy is just a fun flake to hang out with, but nothing more. He is not boyfriend or husband material. People have to work for a living and he will just use her for money! Tell her you will be there no matter what, but if she is afraid of breaking up or afraid of being single that you will help her. Tell her there are lots of great guys out there that will be way better life partners than this douche!!!

  • If it where me:

    I would sit her down, and in a really non-confrontational way explain that "look sis, i do actually care about you and these are my concerns based on..." "However, i've said my peace, and it is your life so I will support you in any decision you make."

    The three dots: just list your concerns and what they're based on.

    Then let her live her life, make her own mistakes and be there for her when things go tits up.

    It's how we learn!

    Good Luck


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