Tips on increasing my confidence?

I'm getting tired of constantly being so hard on myself and feeling like I'm just not good enough, especially for myself. I know I'm worth more than this, but I just don't know what steps to take to finally be able to be content with who I am as a person. Has any of you ever dealt with this and beaten it? Or do know things you can do when you feel low, to make you feel better?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Try not to be too self-critical, all of us make mistakes and all of us have their little insecurities. That's not just you, you are not an ugly duckling, love yourself, tell yourself kind words every night before you sleep. Are you awkward around girls? -You can change it if you communicate with them more and more. Do you have a big pimple on your forehead? -That's okay bro, we are human. Don't you like your hair or body?- You can change your style. Just look in the mirror and I am sure you will notice at least 3 feature in yourself that you like.
    When you want to do something, just count-1,2,3 and do it. Don't think that you are not good or you will fail.
    You will always fail if you don't try.
    Everyone thinks that I am super-confident (well I am :P) but even I think sometimes - does this dress suit me? F*ck it doesn't. I look awful in this dress... OR.. What the hell just I said... and things like that. Just I know that I shouldn't think too many about such things.
    We are not perfect and that's the best thing about us. Even more.. Our imperfections make us perfect.
    Seriously every morning and night tell yourself that you are hella good, "damn my eyes are so sexy" and things like that. Look in the mirror and tell yourself "Good morning Don Juan, you look so f*ckingly awesome today".
    The truth is that we build our own confidence, no one else, the key of our success is in our hands, just use it Mr.

    • The frustrating thing is that I DO realize that it's not realistic to hold myself up to the standards I do, but I don't know how to break that habit of self-criticizing. But maybe it will be helpful to try what you said, although it seems so weird to just tell myself I'm awesome since I don't truly think I am.

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    • Yeah you are right. Come to think of it, cognitive behavioral therapy has the same bases; frequent positive re-enforcement. I should just start doing that, even if it feels silly or weird. I really appreciate you input, thank you :)

    • Haha yeah it seems to be a little weird but it will definitely help you.
      You are welcome :)

Most Helpful Guy

  • Confidence comes from being who you want to be and achieving what you want to achieve. Do you have a list of goals about the kind of person you want to be and the things you want to do? I bet you don't, hence your lack of confidence.

    If you don't know who you want to be you're constantly going to be walking around seeing other people and thinking "I should be like that", then feel bad about yourself because you're not like that.

    Once you make a list, and start sticking to it, then you'll start having the confidence to start being happy with who you are. You'll see someone and be able to be happy for them and who they are and what they've accomplished without feeling the need to compare yourself to them.

    Of course that's not to say you'll never lack confidence again, it's a process that is on going, you never become perfectly confident, but you'll become more than confident enough to do and become the things you want to do and be.

    • I never heard this advice before regarding gaining confidence, so it's much appreciated since I think it can be very helpful! Thanks!

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • People who lack self-confidence worry that they'll never succeed in an unpredictable situation. Well, it's time to stop doubting yourself and to try something completely new, unknown, and different.

    Whether you're traveling to a new country with friends or letting your cousin set you up on a date, making a habit of embracing the unknown can help you become more comfortable in your own skin and to feel like you're in control of your destiny or, rather, that you're okay with not being in control.

    If you find that you're able to succeed even in a situation you didn't anticipate, then your confidence will go through the roof.

    You should spend more time with people who are adventurous and spontaneous. You'll soon find yourself doing something unexpected and feeling better about yourself because of it.

    Wishing you the best of luck.

    • I will start trying more things, I've noticed that I tend to fall back on the familiar because I know how it works and it's less scary that way I suppose. But thank you for your advice :)

What Guys Said 3

  • You don't beat it, you hide it. That's what I do. There's a reason so many British people are super chuckly and awkward - it's them hiding the fear.

  • Start lifting

    • I've noticed exercising does help, but getting massive gains is not really something I really feel like I need. But thanks for your input anyway :)

  • Get big son