How can I stop being a looser and get more self confident?

It's no problem when I am in a meeting about top or flop of a 6 digit project with a dozen upper management managers of another company. But as soon as I am talking with somebody about something about me, I get insecure and go blank. I start feeling guilty. I think about all my faults. I start wondering what they think about me. I think I am wrong and give them right even if they are right and it harms me (Because of this while wage negotiations my wage is more than 30% less than all those graduating with me and I was in the top 10%. I can't even get a new job because I am so insecure). It even starts when I know I will meet somebody involving a personal topic in short time. I like more to be in a group with people I know than with someone alone even if I know them except if I trust them enough and the topic doesn't get too personal because all I can think of is that I am a total failure and the person will dislike me (more) if she finds out about me. I can talk with people for hours as long as it doesn't involve things about me.
Does anyone know what I can do about it?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well first of all, you have to like yourself. Then that self-like has to morph and evolve into self-love. If you can't manage to do either of the two, then you will never "stop being a loser and gain more confidence". In your internal dialogue, you will always repeat the idea that you are just a loser with no confidence. It will be like the playlist to your life forever.

    It helps to start small with baby steps and not overwhelm yourself with the pressure of trying to fix each and every single life problem all at once.

    • Thanks. Any more information how to do the baby steps/which?

    • Show All
    • Focus on the top three that stay on your mind the most for right now. What are they?

    • My job, my friends and girls

Most Helpful Guy

  • Stop feeling like you haven't earned it. Think of the hard work you've done investing in yourself. when it comes to negotiations you have to be aggressive. If you don't believe you are the best then why would anyone else?

    • hmm, I will try

    • Show All
    • Don't think about what others think. Believe that your answer is correct. Establish a foundation by having direction and by having solutions.

    • thanks, I improved somewhat the last days :)

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