How to deal with long distant relationship?

Lets make this simple. I like a guy we are sort of dating. He is in the military overseas right now. We have been together for about a month. We are both worried that we both will not want to be with the other once when he gets back. I told him that I was for him and that I was not going to go anywhere. Since he left we have only had two conversations with each other. When I text him he will respond a week or two later because he is either too busy or he does not have connection where he is. I do not mind if he is not able to communicate with me. When he does message me it is just a one word answer. I texted him about a month ago and he is just now responding and all he said to me is "WoW." I do not know how to respond to that other than starting a whole new conversation and I do not like that because it makes me feel weird. I was trying to decide if I was going to text him and what would I say because I do not want him to think that I am annoying. But at the same thing I do not want him to think that I am not messaging him because I do not like him. I just do not know what to do because I really like him and I do not want to mess anything up Adv


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What Guys Said 2

  • I have experience with long-distance relationships. My girlfriend and me lived in a long-distance relationship for one year, without being able to visit each other (she lived on the opposite side of the planet).
    So there's something I need to tell you right from the start: most people claim that long-distance relationships just don't work. That's bullshit. However, it is true that many long-distance relationships fail after a few weeks/months. When this happens, it has a lot to do with the two people who are in the relationship and not so much with the difficult circumstances.
    Long-distance relationships CAN work BUT it affords two very devoted and emotionally mature person for such a relationship to succeed. For example a lot of couples tend to get into fights when they're apart. This affords the emotional maturity to de-escalate a situation, calm down your boyfriend/girlfriend, talk it out together etc.. Many couples can't do this. Especially a lot of guys can't do this because many men in their 20s are still pretty immature.
    One extremely important factor to succeed in a long-distance relationship is CONSTANT communication. Because other things such as physical love (cuddling, hugs, sex etc.) are absent, it's very important to make up for all that by regularly talking to each other. This is also something especially guys find very difficult.
    Also, texting can be fun but I recommend more than that. Texting or social media stuff (writing a comment on his Facebook wall etc.) are very superficial. If you want to keep a strong, emotional bond, you need to be able to have long and deep conversations where you also talk about your feelings and thoughts and not just what you had for lunch today. In my personal case, my girlfriend and me made a rule that we would talk on skype: Every. Single. Day. The only exception during that whole year was a three-day vacation where my girlfriend had to visit her grandparents in the countryside, where no internet connection exists. Excluding that, we talked to each other every day. No matter if it was a happy or a sad day, whether we had a lot to do or whether we were slacking off - we always talked. Sometimes just for 20 minutes, sometimes for 2 1/2 hours. Not only did this help us keep in touch and know what's going on with the other person, it also helped both of us stay emotionally connected. Every day when I got up I would already be looking forward to come home from Uni and see my girlfriend's face on my computer. Now,

    • I understand that this might not be possible for you and your boyfriend. Every couple's situation is different and there's no one-size-fits-all solution. HOWEVER, if both people are willing, there's always a solution. For example you and your boyfriend could write each other long letters. During our long-distance relationships, I sometimes wrote my girlfriend 4-5 page emails.

      Your boyfriend might be busy in the army but you should also know that doing military service overseas doesn't mean you're engaging in battle every day. There's also lots of time where you're just hanging around doing nothing. So one-word text message simply won't do it. This is not about time, it's about time management. If he really loves you and he's willing to keep this relationship alive, he will MAKE time for you (like my girlfriend and me made time for each other). If you guys just keep sending short text messages to each other.. I'm sorry to say it but I don't think your relationship can survive this way.

  • send him some hot pics to charge him


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