Tell her or not?

When I was much younger, I was told that if I have a crush on a girl, then the best thing to do is to admit it. I didn't believe it because something told me that you're supposed to simply ask the girl out without spilling the lid that you have a crush on her. But now even that doesn't make any sense. What's the right thing to do?


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What Guys Said 2

  • Someone was trying to sabotage your game. Don't tell the girl you have feelings for her. Just ask her out.

    Telling a girl you have feelings tends to do two things:
    1) She feels the exact same way and marries you or whatever.
    2) She doesn't feel the exact same way and then feels all awkward and repels you, leaving you feel all awkward, embarrassed, rejected, and somewhat retarded.

    Casually asking her out tends to do two things:
    1) She's interested enough in you to try hanging out and thinks it's a fun idea and agrees.
    2) She's not interested and rejects the offer. No biggie.

    • (One of two things)

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    • I had a feeling that I was being sabotaged and disrespected. No wonder I didn't know what to do.

    • Maybe "sabotage" might be too strong of a word. But confessing feelings is often relying on like fairy tale magic where the girl magically happens to like you back. Asking a girl out doesn't require she feels very strongly about you, and when you get her alone on the date, even if she doesn't like you so much, she might start to really like you then (and quickly given the private time you two are spending).

  • i don't think you tell them you have a crush on them but i think you should tell a person how you feel about them.