I know a lot of people that do this. They stay married for the kids till they reach a certain age where they won't be affected as much.
I honestly think that I would, simply to not hurt my kids.
Whats your opinion?
Most Helpful Girl
That's a difficult question. I honestly think it comes down to the parents.
Put it this way. If me and my boyfriend had children and separated, I know that we would be respectful to each other, our children would not be punished.
My parents the other hand...
Firstly I would like to say that when my mum was 4 months pregnant with me, my brother (their son) died at 4 years 10 months. My mother did not want to be a mum again, she drank through her pregnancy with me, she was hospitalised because she wouldn't eat... And I 100% get it. And I understand her not wanting to have me. Sadly, she took it out on me. Hence why since the divorce we don't speak. She told me to my face she wished I was dead and my dad came home to find her smothering me with a pillow as a baby.
My whole childhood was fights with my parents. I don't remember a single happy time.
I was afraid of my dad until I was 8. I spent my childhood alone, me and my 3 remaining brothers were trained to be silent at all times. My parents fought constantly, my dad drank heavily, but my mum would throw hot tea, saucepans, phones, etc. Windows were broken all the time. Rows were "normal" to me. I had to read bedtime stories to my mum, not the other way around.
Now I know it's a long story but my dad couldn't divorce my mum until I was of age. If I was under 15 the court would automatically give me to my mum (the same woman who wished me dead) purely because she's my mum. And I was the real problem - I wasn't a problem child but the age and gender and everything meant the courts would favour my mum. My dad stuck it out for my sake.2
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Most Helpful Guy
Everyone one I know who had their parents divorce when they were kids talk about how it ruined them. It was hell, they lost a piece of themselves and even as adults they have commitment issues, anger issues, or inability to handle stress. Admittedly this is only fifteen - twenty people but still it's striking.
I'm not married but if I was and my marriage started tanking would I stay in it for the kids knowing how marriage adversely affects them? Damn I hope I have the strength to say yes, to put my kids before myself, which is what a parent should do.
But in all honesty , as with most of life's major developments, we really don't know what we will do until we are in that scenario. Here's hoping none of us ever have to face that decision , for us, for our loved ones, and for our children.1