Has a guy ever been too neat and straight edge for you?

I met this guy who is really into fitness. He has an amazing body. He is just always in the zone and it's sort of overwhelming. He gets up really early to go on runs everyday. His meals are all prepped in the fridge at all times. He is really fun to be around but his precise schedule and how set in his ways he is can be a little overwhelming. His place is always spot on clean. He is always on the go it seems like. Do I have a right to feel this way or is it weird that I'm even questioning this guy. I think he was in the military or something but I haven't asked.

  • You're weird.. sounds like the perfect guy
    Vote A
  • No I would be overwhelmed too
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Guy

  • I keep my place pretty clean and I do pack lunches like that but he almost does it so perfectly I'd be worried that one minor injury would set him back and he may become the opposite way too lazy. Life doesn't work the way he wants it too. He needs to realize that

    • "I'd be worried that one minor injury would set him back and he may become the opposite way too lazy."

      ^^ Highly doubt it. Unless it's January 6th and this is exactly the sixth day of this new set of habits.

      This is probably just... the way this guy **IS**. This sort of "productivity" probably RELAXES him.
      If you gave him a bunch of unstructured time to lie around on the couch -- or, say, any sort of large-scale project without a bunch of detailed guidelines -- THAT would stress him out.

      The strongest evidence that this is just his natural personality is the fact that he's "a fun guy to be around". If this was forced or artificial, then he would have the persona of someone who's under stress.

      On the other hand, if you are warning about the danger of overtraining, yeah, that's a thing.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Ok. A few things to think about, here.

    THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT THING here, BY FAR, is the "neat freak" thing.
    If the two of you have VASTLY differing standards of neatness -- in other words, if he's a true neat freak, and you are... just a normal person, or on the slobby side -- then A WELL-FUNCTIONING LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP WILL BE *IMPOSSIBLE* between the two of you.
    Seriously... IMPOSSIBLE.
    Not just "very challenging" or "difficult" or "love can do it".

    See, there's no "win" there. If you lived together and the place wasn't up to HIS standard of "clean", then, misery would ensue (and believe me he'd make you miserable -- neat freaks in messy environments are like 2-year-olds who haven't slept in four days).
    If you DID get the place up to his standard, and you did the cleaning 50/50, then YOU would build up a bunch of resentment -- and rightfully so -- because you'd be doing all this work that would be totally pointless FOR YOU, just to achieve some standard for HIM.
    And last, if you did the *rational* thing -- which would be bringing the place up to his standard, with HIM doing 80% or 85% or whatever of the cleaning -- then HE would probably start to resent YOU. This would be stupid and irrational (since he SHOULD be doing most of the work, in this scenario), but, I GUARANTEE that's how it would turn out. And YOU would probably be very uncomfortable in that environment, too -- because NON-neat-freaks are just made to feel that way in neat-freak environments. I know these things. (:

    So... think long and hard about that one. If yr standards of cleanliness are too different, THIS RELATIONSHIP WILL NOT EVER WORK WELL, and you may as well cut the rope now.


    The rest of this stuff -- the meals and the schedule -- depend on whether he's the "includer" type.

    A little background, here.
    Our house actually runs a lot like what you're describing here. I'm a fitness professional with an NPC pro card in the figure division. My husband doesn't compete, but he sure as hell *could*, if he wanted to -- he's still easily in the single-digit bodyfat percentages, year-round, at age 47 mmmhhhh omg.
    If we're not on a total "diet break" week, we tend to cook ALL of the meals for EVERYONE -- us and our 3 kids (and our dogs, who mostly eat raw) -- for a whole week at once, divvy them up, and put them in the fridge.

    We don't sit down and eat meals together "as a family".

    We don't go to bed or wake up at the same time. (ahah about that... my

    • husband and I are both on non-24-hour sleep/wake schedules -- and our schedules aren't even the same as each other's, either! So there are literally three different, more or less completely non-synchronized, sleep schedules happening in this house -- mine, his, and the kids'.)

      Our schedules are sync'd so that, for the IMPORTANT things in life -- my son's football games, my daughter's dance performances and sports games, etc -- everyone is awake. Otherwise, we are literally all doing our own thing... and that's the way life works best, around here.

      In other households, the families derive a feeling of "togetherness" from sitting down and eating meals, and stuff like that, together.
      This is... just not a thing, for us (partly for obvious reasons, with our diets, but also because neither of us had this growing up and so it just kinda confounds us).
      But some people REALLY value this.

      If this dude boxes up all his meals and puts them in the fridge, I'm guessing that he doesn't much

    • Show All
    • He could actually cut down on the running -- ESPECIALLY if he has a really good diet that's low in carbohydrates -- and achieve the same goals, with TONS more free time, and less exhaustion, that way.
      Also, unless he's using anabolic steroids and/or erythropoietin, he's going to develop overtraining syndrome (google it -- it ain't a party) if he's doing more than about 2-3 hard weight workouts a week in addition to all that running.
      Most people honestly aren't ever going to develop overtraining syndrome -- since fundamental laziness will make peolpe cut back their training by the time it starts to kick in -- but, this guy could be one of the exceptions who's just THAT driven. Overtraining is a BITCH, and it can take YEARS to recover from fully (and there are a few sources that even seem to point to the idea that you can *never* fully recover from it). It's ALWAYS better to under-train than to overtrain.

      The last thing is what I said in akadatank44's comment. It's very possible that

    • this sort of regimented lifestyle is "relaxation" for this dude.
      This is actually why I mentioned our house. If you looked into our house from the outside, it would look (a) frenetic and (b) hyper stressful. There are literally schedules on the walls (to show when my husband and I are approximately going to be asleep and/or awake for the week, in case plans need to be made while the other person is sleeping)... our kids are doing the housework almost like paid maids... the food is all in labeled containers... etc.
      But, the point is that THIS IS WHAT'S EASY for us.
      This is NORMAL.
      It's not stressful at all.
      "Stressful" would be NOT having these things -- and just having to make random shit up for a whole week or two. "Stressful" would be a DISRUPTION in our absolutely-like-clockwork household schedule.
      This dude is probably the same way.

      Good luck.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • I understand how a guy like that can make you uncomfortable as a dating option, because you feel that you will feel inferior in relation to his discipline... or he seems so rigid that you worry that he would be boring.

  • its supposed to be like that.

  • haha guess no spontaneity for you...


What Girls Said 8

  • I wouldn't be comfortable with a partner who's always always always like that... I want someone who is healthy and fit but who's also gonna want to sit on the couch eating junk food and watching movies on a Friday night, or going out to the pub for wings and beer with friends now and again. And who won't judge me when I feel like being a lazy ass.

    • Tbh I like being the more health conscious one in the relationship lol

    • He is really social and extroverted. I don't think he drinks though.

  • I don't think I would mind him doing that as long as he didn't expect that of me. I'm not going to be militant about my meals or about working out. I stay pretty fit and try to eat healthy, but I'm not going to be militant about it. As long as he's okay with that, everything will be fine.

  • I'd just be terribly bored with such a person, people who live their lives according to strict schedules like that tend to be awfully plain.

  • I'm not a straight arrow like that. I wouldn't be able to live with someone like that no matter how hot or well off he is. Too much for me. I'd be a total slob to him.

  • If he's too much for you then don't go out with him.
    You should get someone who's comfortable to be with, not someone you have to chase all the time :P
    He's a pretty cool guy though, I want to be like that haha

  • My father is exactly like this. It was never a problem for my mom or me.

  • Ughhh, I know the feeling all too well.

  • I got tired reading this... This guy can be nice but I wouldn't be with him

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