On my own in this beautiful country, and have been here for nearly 9 years. I do contract work and get paid good when I work, but all savings do get spent in between contracts - living expenses nothing too lash. Have found out I am pregnant. Was with my now ex partner for 1,5 years. We always talked it was a serious relationship, although a very rocky one. Kids were part of the plan for when we are settled and stable both in our relationship and financially. After the break up and quite a lot of drama, my first thoughts were to return home, where my family was. Spoke with mum and explained what happened. My relationship with the family is quite estranged, all of the females have really boisterous personalities and fights and resentment happen quite a lot. Anyways, again, although have a family, who are very rarely supportive, I feel on my own. I am very excited about the pregnancy, although it is so unexpected and my ex partner is so freak out, I don't even know if he would ever embrace this. last time we spoke he kept talking about it as if it was unknown still. He was on and off with being excited and supporting with it, and then shifting to being an absolute A-hole, really negative, talking down on me, and not wanting anything to do with it and even stating this might not be even to him, which is absurd. After giving this situation another thought, I am hesitant about going back to my home country as don't think it would be the right decision as far as the child is concerned. I am kinda broke and feeling lost at the moment. I wish I had around a friend who knows and loves me for this tough time, and that was suppose to be my ex, anyways. mentally I am ready to have a child, and know that money situation can always changed, and also know that with careful planning I could overcome some major living obstacles, but it will take toll on a lot of other things. My ex partner is scared of being a shit dad, poverty and aging. I'm scared of doing wrong by the the child.
Most Helpful Guy
Don't worry about whether it's wrong or not; that's in the past. It's happening and you need to focus on that. Your boyfriend sounds like a scared, immature jerk. The last thing you need is him talking down on you right now. Tell him so. He may yet come around to a more mature attitude and that would be great even if you don't get back together romantically. Hopefully he'll take fatherhood seriously and be there to help with both his his time and money.
But I would plan for a worst-case-scenario. You didn't mention what kind of work you do; is it some kind of software work? If it's something you can do while pregnant, I would line something up immediately so you have some money for when the baby arrives. Is there any way to get a full time job with benefits?
You didn't mention what your home country or "this country" is. It's worth it to figure out where medical insurance and maternity benefits would make a bigger difference in the lives of you and your child. If he turns out to take no responsibility, it's also worth it to figure out which country has better laws for compelling fathers to pay child support.
From what little you wrote, I get the feeling that you are a tough, smart person. I'm so sorry you're in this spot with no support. I'm sure you'll be a good mother no matter what happens.0
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