In love with my best friend?

My best friend, is a boy. We are juniors in highschool. This school year he's going to a different school, but we still hang out every week. And we have been best friends since the third grade. And now, for the past week I've been thinking of him differently, like I've been feeling like I am in love with him. When I think about him now I get butterflies in my stomach and it used to not be that way. When I thought of him before it was like he was my brother. Now I wish we had something more. And I don't know what to do. He has a girlfriend they just started dating a couple days ago. I feel scared because he is my best friend and I don't want to ruin our friendship.


Most Helpful Guy

  • 1. You are 18-24 and a junior in high school. I know, you accidentally got the age wrong when you registered and not the site won't let you correct that.

    2. He has a girlfriend now so you need to wait before you say anything to him.

    3. Yes, if you move forward with telling him how you feel, you risk losing a friendship, but if you don't tell him

    a. you will always regret it, and

    b. your friendship will never be the same. How can you listen to him talking about whether he should have sex with his girlfriend, or what to get her for Christmas?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Out of respect for him and his relationship, don't mention it until they break up. This could be a simple infatuation and it could be over just as quickly as it started. If you continue feeling that way and learn that they have problems in the relationship, just be there for him. Don't do the typical romance book thing and ultimately reveal your love, because that will result in more stress on him. Wait for the right time to tell him. If he is truly your friend, he'll appreciate you waiting and he'll keep the friendship going even if he doesn't return the feelings.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Aw you missed your chance. I'm not sure exacticaly how you feel about him. However I do know what it is like to like, love, crush... my best freind. If you want to privately message me and tell me more I can probably give you better advice because everyone's relationship with their best freind is different. However older and wise is pretty much correct.
    1 you do risk your freindship when you tell him in a variety of ways
    2 he will feel betrayed now that he has a girlfreind if you tell him that you love him more than a freind. So wait
    So sadly you have to keep the pain of loving someone as more than a freind while they only see you as their good freind. It hurts and sucks but your friendship with him now kind of relies on it.
    When he talks about her what have you said? you hate her, your kind of like her, you don't know.
    In my experience it all depends on what the other feels for you. The first time that I got a crush on my close female freind it was a big mistake cause by our mutual freinds. They decided to play match maker and set us up. When ever I saw them they teased me about her. Sadly they never did the same with her and when I told her that I liked her she hated it. I lost her as a freind because she only wanted to be my freind and talk. Our freindship was never the same and she latter became an ex freind after I spent a whole semester trying to be her freind again. Which was a big waste of time because she was never really my close freind to begin with she was just using me as a complaints box and daily enouragement. She eventually stabbed me in the back, emotionally blackmailed me with our freindship, and tried to make me feel guilty about it all.
    However recently I have somehow started to like my other female close freind. Instead of just telling her that I liked her. I flirted with her for a bit so she got the hint. After I started flirting with her she got shy around me like she was when she first met me. After a while she slowly warmed back up to me. I gave her a hand written note telling her that she is lovely inside and out and that I like her more than just a freind. Would she like to try to be more than just freinds with me. Afterward she has warmed up to me even more than she had before I had flirted with her. Honestly I don't know how she feels about me but I do know that were closer after my admitting to her that I liked her. I'm still trying to get up the nerve to ask her out so it is still ongoing.

    • With your guy you need to wait awhile. Because he has a girl freind and a new one so he will be infatuated with her for a while. Even if it does not work out he will take a bit to notice what he does not like in her.
      Even when me and 3 of my freind's best freinds told him that the girl he was dating is an awful person he only realized it after they spit up. So to protect your friendship. I suggest that you don't bash his new girl to hard or to much. He might come to resent you for it and those feelings don't fade after the girl leaves sadly.

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    • My account name is felisharose

    • ops sorry I guess your new to this site you can't really send messages yet. I'll send you a message so you can message me back. Well when your anonymous your really anonymous on this site.

  • Don't say anything while he has a girlfriend - If he is single in the future and you feel the same way then tell him.


What Girls Said 1

  • I disagree I think you should tell him you have these feelings. Even though he has a girlfriend that doesn't mean he still not might like you he could be in the same exact position you are in and he could be in love with you but is trying to cover it up to save you're friendship. I would defiently let him know and just explain it to him.

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