Do I have too high expectations if I expect the conversation between me and a guy to be effortless?

Am i expecting too much if I want/expect a conversation over messages to be interesting and be flowing (aka always something to say)?

Im currently on a dating app, but i find myself often to be bored by a lot of the onversations i have with guys on there. The latest guy was very original in his approaching so he automatically got my attention and i found him very interesting, motly because his answers werent that predictable and a but anusual.

We joke around quite a lot, followed by more serious/normal comversation, it switched to us joing around again. But it is at a point where I dont really know what to say, and the conversation is a bit ordinary and less fun basically.

But in real life people rarely talk all the time and have always something to say epseically if they just met. So i dont know if im expecting too much when i want it to be interesting all the time and over long period of time or not.

Anyone with some success with dating apps that have any insight?


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  • I have the same problem when I am on dating sites. Most guys only said a "Hi" message, and if you reply "Hi" back they get offended you didn't write them an essay. It's irritating!

    But all I want is a guy to actually ask me a question or try to make conversation with me. He doesn't need to try and explain thermodynamics. Just have a simple conversation to get to know each other.

    I feel like 99 percent of the conversations I have are me talking and asking genuine questions and just getting and "Owe" "Hmm" or "Ok" or even "Nice" as responses. I don't often get asked questions about myself. I have to volunteer that information after they answer my question about "What types of animals do you like" "Where would you like to travel in the future?" etc...

    They don't ask me, I have to volunteer information. And that becomes frustrating :(

    • Sometimes i get that too and its annoying. But with this guy, we ended up jking around, that has never happened to me before, so a small part of me feels like it could end well. Like I mentioned, out conversation is kinda dying, so im not sure if I should try making it work or if its a sign that this isn't going anywhere

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    • I agree, i dont want to know everything before we meet, but im unsure when i the right time is to ask someone out. On top of that, with this current guy, he lives about an hour with car away from me. I dont know if i personally would take that trip to meet someone i rarely knew, so i can't really expect him to want to meet me.

    • Well I would just ask him. Tell him that you have enjoyed the conversation, and whether he is interested in meeting. That you know he lives an hour away, and if he would be willing to meet.

      I've met guys who are 45 minutes away from me. I live in a small town, and while I would love to meet someone locally, it just hasn't happened yet. I don't think an hour is too far to go to meet a potential future partner.

      But it's definitely good to ask. If he is unwilling to come meet you, then in a relationship you two would never see each other so it would be best to move on at that point. Good luck!

  • I feel the same way. It's more like chore replying to all the "Hi", "Hello", "What are you doing" messages.
    And I find even guys with an original approach have kinda boring answers and questions after that. Maybe 1 out of 20 guys I talk to is actually worth talking to. But you then you know that's more than you'd porbably meet without the app, so..

    • yeah, so i dont know if i should keep talking to him or if this is a "sign" that this won't go anywhere

  • are you talking about texting only or even over the phone?

    i would want to go from text to phone conversation very soon w/in a few days... otherwise its a waste because i am not looking for a text buddy.
    phone conversations can hear their voice, the feelings and the laugh. much better than text.
    guys who dont ask you questions - they are shy, they dont have game, or not interested. you have to decide.
    when phone conversations go well, with fun and laughter talk about food, games, travels, and things... you can say, i would love to go do this or that...
    if he likes you, he will make it happen.
    thats how you feel if there's anyting happeneing... so you dont waste your time.

    if i dont feel a good vibe. i drop the guy. because he can be talkjng to other women and showing more interest in another so he will not be asking you much about you and you should not limit yourself to one either.