Time and time again, I will have something forgotten or wrong from servers, the servers won't say they are sorry a good 95% of the time, YET, I am the nice person telling them "Thank you." I know they think it is going to affect them in their tip obviously, but do they not understand it will cost them MORE by not being nice that the customer won't tip as well if they don't have an apology for something that is obviously their fault?
Most Helpful Guy
I've never been a server but I've managed them, and I've bartended as well, so I'm sure a mistake was made along the way. I would (or advise an employee to) apologize for any mistakes or miscommunication as a general rule, at least on behalf of the establishment. What you should know is that it's not always their fault, there may have been a screwup somewhere else along the chain. Like it's not his/her fault that the cook overcooked your burger, he or she might have heard you say medium rare and entered it properly, and the cook just didn't hold up their end, or maybe someone mixed your burger up with someone else's while plating it. Stuff happens, especially when it's busy.
But I was taught "L. A. S. T." for handling customer complaints:
Listen - Make sure they feel heard about their gripe
Apologize - Simple enough
Solve - Rectify the problem
Thank them - Self explanatory; make sure the customer knows you care and appreciate their business
I find it hard to imagine people aren't apologizing though. How is the interaction occurring? Like I can't envision the scenario. You say "excuse me, but I asked for X and instead I got Y...", what happens next? They blankly stare at you? They silently take your food out back and have it replaced? They just say "uhhhh, ok, sucks to be you" and walk away? I just can't even fathom the interaction where they wouldn't just give you some semblance of "sorry", like that's an automatic response for most people. Important question: are YOU polite in your complaint? I'm not trying to point fingers, I'm just really trying to explore every possibility where you would not be told "sorry" by a large enough sample of servers to say this is a frequent occurrence, an overwhelming 95% by your count. That only happens at places like Dick's Last Resort where rude servers are a schtick of the business, that I know of. I've managed a ton of servers who sucked at their job, but I don't think I've ever encountered even one who refused or neglected to apologize when an error was made.1
Most Helpful Girl
I'm So Very Sorry, @Springs1, That Those are the "Reposed" Ones, hun, who don't Think... They owe You or Anyone a Living. Rude and Crude, but yet, Still Feel You owe them their"Deal." I have seen Certain High maintenance Waitresses, Approach my own Friends with "WTF?" On their Tipping.
I don't Care so Much if they Non't "Say, Sorry," but I will Not Tolerate Bad Service Nor Slow Turtle Ones with Some.
A Small Dollar for no Holler is what Gets to to their Stomachs, I can Bet you, along with "Sorry, Sweetie," which I Never give a Dollar to Donuts just Who... Likes it.
Good luck. xx0