One day about 2 or 3 weeks ago, I was casually on YouTube when I saw a short film about a trans guy. At first, I though "Nah, definitely not me" but it kept nagging at me. Since then, I have been thinking about my past and a bunch of things that may have been red flags. For example, I always loved boy toys and my mom would usually chastise me for playing with my younger brothers toys. Also, EVER since I hit puberty, I've hated my breasts. I had an eating disorder when I was 11 because I hated my breasts and I wanted them to shrink and go away. I never had the feeling that I was different when I was a little kid, like I hear most trans people saying. Also, after my about a year after I recovered from my eating disorder, I would act very girly and try to dress more feminine. Between the time of my eating disorder and when I started being more feminine, I dressed to hide my body. I only wore big sweaters and long gym shorts. The fact that I started to dress more feminine seems a little weird to me, and when I think about it, I only really did it because of peer pressure from schoolmates and my sister. In more recent times, I had this vision of me having short hair. Mind you, this is before I even saw the short film. Unlike girls who want a cut pixie cut, I wanted a more masculine style. I went with a longer version of a quiff (I think that's what it's called but I'm not sure), but as I saw the woman shaving my head, I felt completely myself, more so than ever before. I felt like I had been missing something my whole life, and now I had it. Not long after this, I stopped wearing makeup entirely and felt so confident about myself. Now I have reverted back to my old ways of baggy sweatshirts but not baggy pants or sports shorts because I don't own any. I also started binding my chest and it makes me feel so much better when I leave the house with it bound. I'm pretty sure that I'm transgender, but I'm gonna try being more hyper masculine for the next few months to see.
Most Helpful Guy
*rolls eyes* your not, even if you get the surgery you will always be what you were born as changing your outside will never change that as long as your chromosomes stay female that is always what you want to be.
Unless being a man is important to you that you would change the very thing that makes your human you'll never be a man ever, just a thing wondering in the world between man and female being neither one fully.2
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Most Helpful Girl
I don't know, when i was young i experienced a lot of the same things you did. I always played with boy stuff. I went so far as to wear a wrap around my chest thinking my breasts wouldn't grow and i hated girly stuff. But i never thought of myself as lesbian or TG, i just didn't want to be recognized as a woman. But i grew out of it.
That's just me though, and you have your own path and life to figure out so if it's part of your journey go try it on and see how it fits you.1