Ok so I've never had a girlfriend and i didn't care at first but once i turned 19, then things started to kick in and seeing my friends with their girlfriends made me feel out of place. And i do see girls that i want to approach, but i expect they're going to reject me so i don't even bother trying to approach them. I don't get it, my friends get girlfriends easily, yet i struggle. Don't get me wrong I've approached but I've failed a lot and now I'm too scared to approach again because of rejection. I'm a pretty meh looking guy and sometimes i wish i could've been blessed with good looks and then maybe girls would start approaching and things would be a lot easier. I think about it and it frustrates me now. What do i need to do? I see guys with their girlfriends and it makes me depressed knowing I'll never have that with a girl i find attractive to me. I feel like giving and being bitter just to get angry, but at the same time i want to try and approach again. Why do i have the feeling that looks are what will get me rejected? I need help and advice on what i can do to change this mindset. What do i need to do to be attractive to girls? I know rejection is a part of life but it makes feel like I'm ugly when i got rejected.
Most Helpful Girl
I feel this way too. I look at couples and get jealous. And a lot of times thats all for show, they may be having problems in their relationships but when they are out and about they will put on a face that they are happy to keep people out of their business. I know it can be frustrating but just take your time when it comes to dating. And dont be so hard on yourself, Have fun and go out. Do the things that you love. Trust me, when you get older you will wish that you would not have been stressing over relationships.0
Most Helpful Guy
I know where you're coming from. I was once there myself. Here's some advice that might help.
The trick is, guys need to expand their horizons, focus on positive activities that build self-confidence. I'm not talking about Dungeons and Dragons or Fantasy Sports (those are things that nerds use as a substitute for women), but things women are more interested in, like ice skating lessons, art lessens, or Arthur Murray dance lessons (women love a guy who knows how to dance, plus the fact that in the dance studio, women outnumber guys at least 2 to 1, and most of the other guys are just husbands anyway). In short, explore life and it's opportunities (non-sexual, at first). Along with all this comes a sense of accomplishment and self-confidence, and it builds up your social skills. You can then have a network of friends (and women friends), and can get comfortable talking with them. The key here is to gain self-confidence, because if you don't have confidence in yourself, a woman won't have confidence in you. Many of these women will just be friends, and nothing more, but some of them might find you interesting in a more intimate way. Even older women, even old grandmas, you're not trying to score with them, but just get comfortable talking to them as women. As they get to know you, they'll probably have your back, and maybe steer you to a nice girl they know, or weed out the skanks coming your way. Also, if you go out on a date, always be courteous and respectful, even if it doesn't work out. It might evolve into something intimate, or you both might just end up talking and having a nice time together, and that's it. She might think that you're not right for her, but she might think of you as a good match for one of her friends, or a sister, etc. Don't burn your bridges!
True, there are mean skanks and gold diggers out there who can hurt you, but there are many women who would love to be with a positive, caring guy. I've heard there are some who actually get off doing virgins. Don't just go after the foxes. Foxy women are nice to look at, but it's what a woman has in her heart that counts, and the woman you end up with may not be foxy at all by most men's definition. What matters is that she's willing to share herself (and not just her body) with you. There are probably women out there who have their own social and shyness issues, too. Some of them might even be afraid of men. You won't find them hanging around in bars, maybe a church.