Most Helpful Girl
I got home from a tiring day at work and poured myself a coke. I went to walk down my hallway towards my room and my guy friend jumped out at me and scared the crap out of me. I screamed and flung my drink up in the air so now I get to clean my drink off the ceiling, walls, and floor while my friend is rolling on the floor laughing. Hope this brightens your day as much as it did for him!
Most Helpful Guy
So a man walks into a bar, and sits down. He starts a conversation with an old guy next to him. The old guy has obviously had a few. He says to the man:
"You see that dock out there? Built it myself, hand crafted each piece, and it's the best dock in town! But do they call me "McGregor the dock builder"? No! And you see that bridge over there? I built that, took me two months, through rain, sleet and scoarching weather, but do they call me "McGregor the bridge builder"? No! And you see that pier over there, I built that, best pier in the county! But do they call me "McGregor the pier builder"? No!"
The old guy looks around, and makes sure that nobody is listening, and leans to the man, and he says:
"but you fuck one sheep..."