+1 y

Confident guys/girls, how do you "not care about what others think"? How do you validate yourself without the opinions of others?

It's become increasingly obvious that a good portion of my problems is a result of my lack of confidence and my need for validation in order to feel good about myself.

However, whenever I try to get help with this, the advice mostly boils down to "stop caring about what others think."

That's where I start scratching my head. Because, if I ignore what others think about me, how will I know where I stand? Just from my own opinion?

Lemme tell you about a guy I went to school with named Alex. The guy clearly had a lot of confidence, self-worth, faith in his viewpoints, etc. But he was still considered extremely annoying and immature by pretty much everyone. Does the fact that he thought highly of himself automatically mean that his view of himself was true?

No.. it doesn't. The way I see it, if you think you're great, but that opinion is widely rejected, you're probably not great.

This applies to dating also. Anyone can "never settle for less than what they want" all they damn well please. But.. I thought "beggars can't be choosers."

I find it strange how it's normally the most popular people who say "you should take what others think too seriously."
Right.. got it.. -_-

I always get told:

"If they don't like you, that's their loss."
Oh please. If it were really a loss, I'd have a lot of people vying for my approval.. but I don't.

"If you go in thinking you're not good enough, neither will they."
Ah, I see. So if I just close my eyes and imagine a bottle of wa-
Confident guys/girls, how do you
Well god damn..
----------------------------------------------------
I really want to be done relying on what people around me think in order to know my own worth. But I'm afraid that if I do, I'll end up self-righteous like Alex because I'll only be using my own biased perspective..

How do you get around this?
Confident guys/girls, how do you "not care about what others think"? How do you validate yourself without the opinions of others?
2
4
Add Opinion