Taking a small child to a funeral home?

A family friend passed away and their funeral visitation is today. I'd like to go and pay my respects to the family. I'm going to take my child to my parents house.

My child hasn't been to a funeral in a long time so she won't remember ever going to one. She's really sensitive and I'm scared that seeing people crying will upset her. She knows that people die and go to heaven.
I have doubts as how she'll handle it. I don't want to upset my baby- she'll be 4 in November.
What do y'all think? Should young children go to funeral homes?

I'd like to hear from y'all on small kids and funerals.

  • Yea, it's ok. Death is something we can't avoid.
    Vote A
  • No, small children are too little and may get upset.
    Vote B
  • Other- State what you think, please.
    Vote C
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Updates:
I ended up taking my kid with me. My friend watched her while I went in the chapel where the viewing was. I didn't want her to see a dead person in a coffin.
Then we went out to her favorite restaurant. So the evening went good.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you made right call - Leave your child with your parents - She won't understand the grief

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don’t think there’s anything wrong with taking small children to funerals. However you should not take them to anymore then are necessary to be at. I started going to funerals when I was 4. I’ve been going ever since I’m 15 now almost 16 and I’ve been to 15 funerals for many different people, Family. Family friends, my parents friends parents. It starts to become to much. Personally I hate funerals and it has caused me to have very little care when I hear someone dies

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 16

  • She's going to be exposed to death and sadness at some point. You might as well do it with a bit of control. As in, you are there to answer any questions she has about the subject and environment. As well, you can comfort her and be there to support her if she does freak out of is visibly shaken by the experience. It doesn't have to be traumatic for anyone, death. It's all in how it is presented to people and if there are people around to support them.

    My son is fairly emotional and he went through a funeral of my late brother. He was present for the service and the coffin lowering. I don't regret it one bit. He watched it as it lowered, but was surprisingly strong throughout the whole process. He even desired to place a flower on his coffin before it lowered and said his good-byes to him. They were very close in the limited amount of time they spent together. So to deny him this sort of "closure", I think would have been unfair and would probably made it worse for him actually.

    So, don't hide them away from important and inevitable facts of life. How else are they going to learn? Sesame Street? Sure... The best way they can understand is to deal with all the emotions that are presented with it, all the observations and questions they'll have, and for their parent to be the strength and to have the answers they need.

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  • I wouldn't dare take a child to a funeral home, it's super awkward for them.

    Peoples crying, the kid doesn't know who's the person that passed away, somewhat forced to say "Sorry" out of pure pity.

    There's no real point in forcing a child to go through this.

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  • i don´t think we should let children live in a pretend world where everything is fine and dandy all the time, cause they will crash with reality if they grow up. i think it´s totally ok to confront a child with death and teach it how we deal wiht it emotionally and socially.

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  • Kids pick up on YOUR emotions. When a little toddler sees someone who has passed they perceive it as the person is taking a nap. Nothing more. Have seen this.

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    • That said.. they should never touch. I imagine that would form a bad memory.

  • Sorry about your family friend. May they rest in peace.

    I don't think it's wrong in any way to take your child to a funeral home. I believe it helps them grow up knowing the bitter truths about life which is necessary. You said your child is a sensitive person so I'm pretty sure she won't disturb the environment. She'll give more importance to the people in her life if she understands what losing someone feels like. :)

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  • Can't say if it's right or not. I don't see an issue but she most likely won't really know what's going on and may have confused emotions over it. I don't think I would take a child if it was an open casket though. Certainly depends on the kids personality

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  • No, I don't know about kids minds, but I bet that you can't explain to them what's the deal with sadness at funerals.

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  • do it if you want. it's really not that big of a deal whether or not you take her

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  • Yea, it's ok. Death is something we can't avoid.

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  • People should learn about the facts of life early on, but on an age appropriate level. Gradually ease them in. Seeing a dead body at such a young age might really distress them.

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  • Never went to one til I was 20.

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  • Yea, it's okay Death is something we can't avoid.

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  • I agree with you they are to little

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  • never been to one

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  • She needs to learn that death is the gall of life

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  • *frowns* EW! Why are you in my shower? *looks away*.

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    • 😂 What?

    • Show All
    • Uhh ok... you commented on my question about taking small children to a funeral home.

    • To tell you about Rapture, my city under the sea. It was not impossible to build Rapture under water. It was impossible to build it anywhere else

What Girls Said 20

  • It's good for children to understand death. seeing all these people upset may upset your child (most likely not) but your helping them to feel sympathy (sad because others are sad) and hopefully empathy (sad because they would be sad if it was someone they loved). All very important life lessons little people need to grow into loving companionate adults.

    also remember children's see the world as a much better, simpler, happier place then we do. so when you say "he's gone to heaven" a child will usually be 100% ok with that as a good thing. As for the explanation of why everyone's sad is because they loved that person so much and now they are going to miss them.
    Small Children should also not wear black to funerals. white or other light colors is best.

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    • Also my children have been to many funerals and are completely fine with them. I'm an Irish catholic so family funerals on my side are LONG and boring (I don't even like going to them). When they were younger <5 I wouldn't have them there for the entire thing. Usually 15-20 mins and then they went to the children's room in the church that I always volunteered to supervise 😉 The after party, I mean wake 😁 was always held at the local pub during non business hours and children are welcome and present for that as well.

  • I don't think small children should go to funeral homes. People are grieving and to be honest, they are boring. So for a child seeing all that sadness and having nothing to do just creates a perfect storm for a fidgety, talkative, loud little human. Which for others attending the funeral can be distracting and annoying.

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  • Best from the Rest to Leave her at Home, Not just Alone.
    I never Went to a Calling Hours until I was in High School, First, When my Cafeteria lady had Died, And seeing her in the Coffin, I Nearly Died, She reminded me in a Way of my own Grandma... God Rest her own Soul. xx

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  • You know your child best. If she’s sensitive, seeing crying people and a corpse will be too much. Even if it were someone she knew, I think it’s enough to know that the person isn’t coming back. The child doesn’t necessarily need to sit through an entire funeral service. The truth is, funerals are often too emotional for adults. Keep your kid away from them until you feel she’s ready.

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  • I don't think we should hide death from children- it's very important for them to understand that it is something that happens. I think you should take your child to the funeral and use it as an opportunity to teach about death and how to handle it.

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  • do take her with. explain it to her when she not understands something.
    what i like in pravoslav religion is, that they say "be happy you knew the person and don't be sad"

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  • My parents took me to my grandma's funeral. I was the only kid there and my mom was crying a lot. I dislike crying in public but that set me crying too. I was pretty angry at them for taking me but I think it was important. I can't explain why but it really affected me in a positive way.

    I think we feel more connected to a person after their death when you attend their funeral

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  • There are enough problems for kids when they are growing up, without adding to them. This sort of thing should be left until they are old enough to understand peoples' real emotions.

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  • First funeral I ever went to I was maybe 5?
    It wasn't upsetting to me as I didn't really understand the relationship between people and I had never seen him. It was the husband of my mom's cousin. I was with my grandma and she told me to sit quietly so I did. I observed people and remember the two teenage daughters were crying loudly and were very upset. I don't associate any particular feeling with that event. Just curiousity.

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  • I said yes because you just explain to them when someone dies it's important for everyone that loved them to come together, say goodbye, and celebrate their life. You explain that people will be sad because of how much they will miss them. Then after the funeral I would allow the child to draw a picture for the deceased and let it go. Your child might be more sensitive but just let her know it's ok to be sad but you will celebrate their life by talking about happy times too.

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  • for an actual family member funeral yes but a friend no.

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  • You are doing the right thing. I have small children. I would never take them to a funeral home. Life is hard enough when you’re an adult. I believe children should remain innocent until they need to see how harsh the world really is.

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  • It's perfectly fine. I used to go when I was young cause someone was always dying

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  • No, when I was like 4-5 my parents took my to one, I had nightmares for years after that. It's not something that a kid should see or can emotionally take.

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  • I'm thirteen and I've never been in a funeral home. I think there's been three family funerals that I've not been able to go to. My parents just simply won't let me.

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  • If she's sensitive then don't bring her. She may be a disturbance

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  • Death is something that's a part of life, you can't hide that from your child.

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  • When I was a child, I never thought being in a funeral home was a big deal. Death is just a part of life.

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  • Well it depends on your kiddo but when my mom died, I took my 2.5 year old while my mom was in her death bed. I showed her my mom, and told her that gramma was sick and she was going away. She seemed confused but took it well. But I think the grief processes would’ve been worse if I hadn’t showed her my mom dying. My daughter was only 2.5 but she would cry in her sleep. But she understood that gramma had a booboo and wasn’t getting better.

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  • It is ok

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