Why are people so aggressively offend when confronted with the truth?

I understand cognitive dissonance can be uncomfortable. But actually lashing out at people for pointing out when you do or say something stupid is just baffling to me.

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  • You need to learn how to successfully argue with people. There is a way to do it such that they don't explode like that.

    Read this piece that is to be published in tomorrow's NY Times:
    www.nytimes.com/.../rick-steves-travel-world.html
    ===
    Today, Steves is more strategic. His most powerful tool, he realizes, is his broad appeal. He has an uncanny knack for making serious criticism feel gentle and friendly. Often he disguises critiques of America with a rhetorical move that I like to think of as “U. S. A.! U. S. A.! U. S. A.! (But. ... )” “I’m unapologetically proud to be an American,” he writes in the introduction to his book “Travel as a Political Act.” “The happiest day of any trip is the day I come home. ... But other nations have some pretty good ideas too.”

    That’s when he hits his audience with legal prostitution, high tax rates and universal health care.

    When I asked Steves about this strategy, he chuckled.

    “It’s not America-bashing,” he said. “It’s America-loving. I think it’s loving America to look at it critically. But you’ve got to set it up. You’ve got to allay people’s concerns that you’re a communist. So you explain to them: I’m a capitalist, I make a lot of money, I employ a lot of people, I love the laws of supply and demand. It seems kind of silly, but you’ve got to say that. Then, especially the husbands who are dragged there by their wives, they go, ‘I thought he was a commie, but he’s O. K.’ And then you don’t need to be too gentle. You can confront people with a different perspective, and you’ll get through.”
    ===

    Also, consider practicing with this:
    www.nytimes.com/.../...-family-argue-chat-bot.html

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    • I think you misunderstood. I don't mind, I think it's actually kinda funny. Just not sure why.

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    • That's fair. But they still need to shut the fuck up and accept the fact that they are wrong.

    • No they don't because they don't believe they are wrong.

  • Being confronted with truth on a psychological level is often seen as criticism which is--depending on the person's threshold--at some point seen as a threat or danger. It's a psychological equivalent of being physically harmed so we naturally respond back to protect ourselves.

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    • But criticism is a good thing. It shows us where we need to improve.

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    • The idea of self improvement has been around as long as life in Earth has. Stronger, faster, smarter, whatever. Anything to increase your chances of surviving the competition. The recent trend is bitching about how life isn't fair.

    • It's been around in some form. I don't think people 100 years ago thought "I'll change myself in this way" often though. People that did were outliers. We were thought to be who we are and that was it. I feel like we really went off topic though.

      Not many people are going to agree with you that criticism is a good thing when you confront them in the moment with criticism. If you ask a general question about it on here with no context of criticism directed towards somebody, people are going to look at it in a entirely different way.

      Also I'll say, we all want to be loved and respected by those close to us. Not following that axiom is very painful.

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  • Usually when that happens, they know the mask is off and they have no where to hide. So the only thing left is to get defensive of the little bit of ego, pride or self importance they have left.

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  • Not sure either, I guess some people automatically consider it a personal attack and feel a strong need to defend themselves. For this reason I choose to stay quiet when it's not absolutely necessary, I have been lashed out at for pointing out a teachers pronunciation mistake so. And when it is necessary - I just pray that they are normal human beings.

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  • First of all, the truth is subjective. Anyone who has studied philosophy knows that. Unless we're talking about scientifically proven facts (eg. the earth orbits around the sun), the truth varies depending upon each individual's interpretation. Therefore, there isn't one universal truth.
    Secondly, how you choose to tell someone "the truth", does matter. If you're impolite (eg. "you dumb idiot, didn't you know that X...) it's normal for people to be offended

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    • Anybody who has studied philosophy has wasted their time. Truth is true regardless where it's coming from. The word you are looking for is "opinion"

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    • Sure, that's why it's a mandatory course in law school.. I suggest you do a bit of research on the subject

      Still, doesn't change the fact that truth is different from honwsty

    • It's mandatory for med school too. That doesn't make it useful.

  • I agree, a lot of people on here will post questions then when you hit them with an honest opinion they lash out. They start stalking you under an anon account. I think it has a lot to do with low self esteem.

    Confident, successful, and mentally healthy individuals can take constructive criticism.

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  • There is pointing out the truth and pointing out the obvious. Pointing out the truth is good when you are trying to help someone. Pointing out the obvious is a bullying tactic.

    But you are right. Many people hate the truth. Truth hurts.

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    • I don't really see the point in telling someone something obvious. They should already know it. And if they don't, having their stupidity pointed out is on them.

  • Because people are afraid of virginia wolf aka they are scared to live without false illusions

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  • I would rather be td the truth no matter what. Some people seem to think they are 100% right and the world is a triangle.

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  • Because at times truth hurts and recognizing it would destroy the balance they built themselves.

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  • That how all pink anonymous. they all an idiot. They only lash out just because they can't be the right. Most of the time is end up failing

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  • Some people can't take the truth also it depends on how u tell it to them

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  • People ask questions they don’t want to hear the answers to, they haven’t learned not to do that

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  • Some people don't like being made a fool of. A lot can give it but they don't like to take it...

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  • People can't handle the truth, especially when it makes them look stupid.

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  • Some people cannot see their own faults.

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  • Truth hurts

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  • Lol look who's talking!

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  • Well they know they are in the wrong

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  • Maybe because you don't make sense.

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