Am I wrong for wanting nothing to do with women now?

Anonymous
I spent most of my highschool without any attention, affection, or love from girls. All I can recall from my "best years" are being completely alone and unwanted. I wasn't as good looking as the guys who effortlessly got all the girls (and even had them cheating with those guys), but I really tried. I looked decent, but I guess that wasn't enough.

Then, I took extreme measures to make myself look better that most would never do. Eventually, I got my first girlfriend after highschool.

I was the model boyfriend that every girl says they want men to be, but she eventually got bored and broke it off to "focus on studies" or whatever. I guess even women don't know what they want.

I gave up on dating because it all just felt fake and artificial. Their love for me only seemed to depend on how good I looked, or how well I played their games. I was fed up and done with jestering just to have them tolerate having me around.

I decided to just see if I only enjoyed the sex aspect of relationships. The problem was, the only women who didn't play games were the same grotesque and ugly women that rejected me when I was average looking.

Still, I lost my virginity because I wanted to try sex out, and I regretted it. I felt disgusted the entire time, and after I was done, I went home and took a 5 hour shower. I spend the rest of that week trying to forget what happened.

Now, I don't even crave sex anymore. Because to get it without losing my dignity, I would have to play women's stupid dangerous games that could jeopardize my future. Also, I don't feel like they genuinely want to have sex with me, so I don't want to want to waste my time if they're just simply tolerating my sexuality because I successfully passed their shit tests.

In fact, now I don't even like it anymore when they try to show their affection for me. Their attention only enrages me now, and I hate the fake love and compassion. I JUST WANT THEM TO GO AWAY AND NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN YOU ALL MAKE ME SICK.
Am I wrong for wanting nothing to do with women now?
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