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I was bullied by my "boy crushes" I had as a teenager. And I find it so funny, bcos they all didn't grow taller than 5'3" and here I am 5 ' 5", taller than them all. I must've liked short guys until they proved to be a waste of my time. Lol. Oh well, one for the books.
How did it effect me growing up? Well, it didn't really. I grew up a d so did my self confidence and my pride. I dont take shit from anybody. But I also didn't allow it to effect relationships or trusting people. I grew up knowing there will always be assholes, but, not everyone is an enemy. Also, you'll make more friendly acquaintances then best friends, so, I'm happy to be nice to people and be an overall friendly person, but, I'm not about to let them take advantage of my kindness and I call out bullshit.
Turn that self hate into wil power! I did and my life turned around. Best of luck.
I'm trying. And good for you!
I was bullied too. For years. I know how much it hurts. I really hope you manage to see how great you are.