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I'm Feeling bummed out?

Anonymous
So I'm 23, I live in my car currently homeless. I can't keep a job due to my mental disorder (intermittent explosive disorder) I can fight it for awhile but ultimately I end up losing my job to it. For short it's basically anger x100 over stupid things normal people wouldn't really care about. It's ruined all my relationships, intimate and family, all my passions, video games (smashing computers destroying keyboards and mice) it's ruined everything really. My dad was abusive towards my mom when I was little, no so much me. He's lived with me probably 6/18 of my minor years. I don't really know him. I've probably talked to friends more in a year than I have him my entire life. Don't get my wrong I'm not a victim, I have a severe anger problem, he doesn't like when I come over, but he's been letting me come over lately, and today he told me his house isn't the flop house, (I go there after work and shower and sit down till 9 o'clock then I go to a parking lot and sleep) I got a new job offer at safelite as a... Windshield replacement tech, they don't make much, 18hr but it's better than what I have now, and he pretty much told me I'm not mechanically inclined enough and told me to deliver pizza the rest of my life. I've been seeing doctors and therapists for a few weeks and they gave me medicine, but I'm kinda beyond the point of turning myself around and I'm just bummed out and kinda want to die, but I can't kill myself. My life's a revolving door, and I don't think I'm able to fix it, none of my family really want to help, they kinda just want me gone. The reality of my dad calling me dumb and telling me to live in a tiny nasty shithole in the hood and to deliver pizzas the rest of my life kinda hit hard, and I'm mentally fucked in my head with my disorder. What's the point. What can I do, I don't wanna try anymore. I'm tired of freezing every night and waking up numb, if I died no one would even notice, literally. No one checks on me ever. I'm feeling bummed out
I'm Feeling bummed out?
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