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Asking for advice. Change needs to happen?

Anonymous
I never actually admitted this to anyone, but hey i'm in the new year now and change needs to happen, resolutions and such.

So here's the deal, i'm a highly functional alcoholic, despite me drinking too much i'm perfectly able to function in my day and get everything done. Obviously I can feel how much easier and how much faster I do things when I don't drink, yes it happens from time to time. And I feel so fucking great whenever I dont have a hangover all day... Yeah I know, go fucking figures. My problem isin't that I need my alcohol by any means, it's not like I feel bad if I don't drink, quite the contrary. The thing is that it has turned into a happit, a "ritual" almost, I start drinking at the same time every evening/night, and I drink rougly the same amount every time. Doing this I know i'm able to get up the next day, I never go overboard drinking I know my limits, so you could call it controlled drinking but in an amount that isin't exactly healthy. I'm perfectly aware that i'm able to stop, I feel better when not drinking, the problem is i'm not sure how. As mentioned it is almost like a ritual to me, it's not per say the alcohol itself that keeps me doing it, but the "ritual" the happit, and I don't know how to part with this ritual. It is my sacred time for myself before I go to bed where I take a good couple of hours to myself every day and reflect over my day, my life, anything really. I reflect and think and these hours is as said sacred to me, i've done this "ritual" even before I started drinking also. But now alcohol has become a part of this which in some ways have tainted the ritual. Because I always do it before I go to bed I obviously go to bed intoxicated, this is a problem as i'm experiencing having trouble sleeping when not intoxicated. I fall right back into things again if I try to stop, as I would prefer to be able to get up in the morning even with a hangover, rather than to not get up and being late to work. Run out of words now. Help!
Asking for advice. Change needs to happen?
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