It’s really bad. I gotta wait till I’m 18 some day to go to a therapist but my parents are mentally abusive like badly and they have so much of their own problems too and remember they were abused physically and mentally as a kid so that kind of is a excuse for them. They are over protective no trust in me , they always make someone worry like if u did smth wrong they will get to the bottom of it to just yell and scream at you until u get it solved. I never hugged my dad or anything before my mom yes but like we aren’t a affectionate family. Recently I went through a heart break of a ex I dated for couple years over 2 years and now I’m just being sexual too much. I never had sex or anything but I feel emptiness and I talk with a older guy like 22 and basically it’s the daddy issue type thing but badly lol. Sexually I like it it’s like I turn my trauma into smth sexually so we sext or send nudes but he’s really dominant and stuff.
I never had a good father figure even he has been physically abusive before to my siblings when they were young but his temper has settle down now. I’m just alone a lot and like it’s comforting someone who loves me but yet sexually I like the stuff we do too. I just need to know how to cope without weed or I don't know I know it’s bad having a relationship with this guy