Why is it so hard to just let go of control?

Question

All our lives we have this idea of how we want our lives to go. This goes from who we are. What career we want. What we like and even what we love. We even have the idea of the person we want.

Then when it doesn’t come in a different form that not how you quite image it. how do you let go and be with some thing that doesn’t quite fit into your idea.

Answer 1

VanillaSalt | 82 opinions shared on Other topic.

Xper 7

I don’t. I go with the flow and follow my day. There’s things I’m irritated about but the fact is the world don’t give a fuck about my problems. Fun fact. People are heartless and cruel when they don’t wanna be nice which is often. What’s really funny is thinking we have control. You think because you can say no to a man you have control of your dating life? Na the right man still has to ask you out. You think you can just say you wanna be president and that’s it you get it? You think even if you work your whole life to become president you’ll get it?

The most horrible life lesson you’ll learn is this. You can spend decades improving yourself and becoming better only to fail at the end. You can set your sights on a goal and chase said goal until the day you die without ever approaching it. Effort does not determine success. It’s all about being in the right place at the right time. People think their soul mates out there and you’ll find them. What if the bus was late 2 minutes and you missed the rendezvous that would have changed your life. Maybe you already met your perfect other but you weren’t smart enough to know it.

Jamie05rhs

1 mo
@VanillaSalt Becoming President is a really bad example. It's intrinsically extremely difficult... because it's supposed to be. And there can only be one (at one time, at least.)
Jamie05rhs

1 mo
"Maybe you already met your perfect other but you weren’t smart enough to know it.". That's a great point, though.
VanillaSalt

1 mo
That’s the whole point one well have maybe 20ish president terms during a single lifetime. That’s 10 presidents for the millions born that year. Just cause you want it even working far harder than everyone else do t guarantee you it.
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Jamie05rhs

1 mo
But that's only one job. There are so many other things you can do rather than becoming President.
VanillaSalt

1 mo
It’s something and if something is impossible then not everything is possible.
Jamie05rhs

1 mo
Okay, so you're basing a philosophy and an entire life outlook on a logical technicality.
VanillaSalt

1 mo
Logical actuality not technicality. Facts are facts you can’t do anything you want even with great effort and even being the best don’t give you success... life’s unfair isn’t it.
Jamie05rhs

1 mo
@VanillaSalt That statement isn't true, though. You may not be able to do EVERYTHING you want, buy you CAN do some things!
VanillaSalt

1 mo
If your willing to risk your entire life ona slim possibility then sure. When you think about it how many people are actually made for each other. If you believe in soul mates it’s just 1 person for you. at least you get 20 chances to be president but only 1 “soul mate” for you. The odds of becoming president are greater. Your argument don’t make my comment any less true.
Jamie05rhs

1 mo
@VanillaSalt Oh. I totally forgot we were talking about relationships. I thought we were talking about careers.
VanillaSalt

1 mo
We’re just using both as an example for letting go of control. We’re actually talking about control. And nobody really has control.
Jamie05rhs

1 mo
Oh, okay. Fair enough.

But I don't believe that there is only one soulmate for each person. I think everyone has multiple potential soulmates that exist in the world. You just have to find one of them.
VanillaSalt

1 mo
Soulmates when we are so different? That’s stupid. Loves stupid. Live at first sight LMAO... that’s called lust. Love is the bond you build getting to know someone over years of intimacy and pain. You can’t understand someone until you’ve suffered together.
Jamie05rhs

1 mo
Ok, so apparently you don't believe in soulmates. Good to know lol.
VanillaSalt

1 mo
Nope. I believe almost any 2 people can under dire enough circumstances make an exceptional life and family with each other. People don’t need to be attracted when their survival depends on each other.
Jamie05rhs

1 mo
@VanillaSalt Lol. Well, good luck with that ever happening in the West in this era.

Answer 2

Jamie05rhs

@VanillaSalt Becoming President is a really bad example. It's intrinsically extremely difficult... because it's supposed to be. And there can only be one (at one time, at least.)

Answer 3

Jamie05rhs

"Maybe you already met your perfect other but you weren’t smart enough to know it.". That's a great point, though.

Answer 4

VanillaSalt

That’s the whole point one well have maybe 20ish president terms during a single lifetime. That’s 10 presidents for the millions born that year. Just cause you want it even working far harder than everyone else do t guarantee you it.

Answer 5

Jamie05rhs

But that's only one job. There are so many other things you can do rather than becoming President.

Answer 6

VanillaSalt

It’s something and if something is impossible then not everything is possible.

Answer 7

Jamie05rhs

Okay, so you're basing a philosophy and an entire life outlook on a logical technicality.

Answer 8

VanillaSalt

Logical actuality not technicality. Facts are facts you can’t do anything you want even with great effort and even being the best don’t give you success... life’s unfair isn’t it.

Answer 9

Jamie05rhs

@VanillaSalt That statement isn't true, though. You may not be able to do EVERYTHING you want, buy you CAN do some things!

Answer 10

VanillaSalt

If your willing to risk your entire life ona slim possibility then sure. When you think about it how many people are actually made for each other. If you believe in soul mates it’s just 1 person for you. at least you get 20 chances to be president but only 1 “soul mate” for you. The odds of becoming president are greater. Your argument don’t make my comment any less true.

Answer 11

Jamie05rhs

@VanillaSalt Oh. I totally forgot we were talking about relationships. I thought we were talking about careers.

Answer 12

VanillaSalt

We’re just using both as an example for letting go of control. We’re actually talking about control. And nobody really has control.

Answer 13

Jamie05rhs

Oh, okay. Fair enough.

But I don't believe that there is only one soulmate for each person. I think everyone has multiple potential soulmates that exist in the world. You just have to find one of them.

Answer 14

VanillaSalt

Soulmates when we are so different? That’s stupid. Loves stupid. Live at first sight LMAO... that’s called lust. Love is the bond you build getting to know someone over years of intimacy and pain. You can’t understand someone until you’ve suffered together.

Answer 15

Jamie05rhs

Ok, so apparently you don't believe in soulmates. Good to know lol.

Answer 16

VanillaSalt

Nope. I believe almost any 2 people can under dire enough circumstances make an exceptional life and family with each other. People don’t need to be attracted when their survival depends on each other.

Answer 17

Jamie05rhs

@VanillaSalt Lol. Well, good luck with that ever happening in the West in this era.

Answer 18

Jamie05rhs | 816 opinions shared on Other topic.

Guru

It's a gradual process. I believe that we become more open-minded as we age.

VanillaSalt

1 mo
If that was the case everyone including the previous generation wouldn’t be so irritated.

This is a social media problem. Ideas are spreading faster than even and social media’s to blame for all of it. Blm at the same time as vote questions and critical race theory antifa and riots... the worlds in chaos and it sucks.

Answer 19

VanillaSalt

If that was the case everyone including the previous generation wouldn’t be so irritated.

This is a social media problem. Ideas are spreading faster than even and social media’s to blame for all of it. Blm at the same time as vote questions and critical race theory antifa and riots... the worlds in chaos and it sucks.

Answer 20

Anonymous

Its so important to have control to some extent. You dont want to be just a lousy ass. Do u?

Answer 21

Agape93 | 3.3K opinions shared on Other topic.

Master

Because I’m not going to let someone else dictate how my life will go.

Justneedtokno

1 mo
Not dictate your life but letting someone into your life
Agape93

1 mo
I can still do that and remain in control of my life.
Justneedtokno

1 mo
At some point when you’re meeting a new person or letting them in you also had to let down your guard. Get outside of your comfort zone which is the zone that you control in order to be with someone
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Agape93

1 mo
Letting someone in doesn’t necessitate that one relinquish their control. Not at all.

Answer 22

Justneedtokno

Not dictate your life but letting someone into your life

Answer 23

Agape93

I can still do that and remain in control of my life.

Answer 24

Justneedtokno

At some point when you’re meeting a new person or letting them in you also had to let down your guard. Get outside of your comfort zone which is the zone that you control in order to be with someone

Answer 25

Agape93

Letting someone in doesn’t necessitate that one relinquish their control. Not at all.

Answer 26

AmeerX | 761 opinions shared on Other topic.

Guru

Truth is we can't let go of control. If we start to let go we achieve a better level of satisfaction and stop striving hard enough creating a self reinforced loop. The less we work hard the more we let environment take the blame

Answer 27

Anonymous

Sometimes it's because you're worrying about controlling things that you can't control

Answer 28

Relentless1

Xper 2

My life completely went amuck and I’m still alive. I’ve learned to thrive on what life throws at me.

Answer 29

NathanDavis | 231 opinions shared on Other topic.

Yoda

I liked Frozen, the movie.

Answer 30

DougieFresh

Xper 4

I don't know anymore.

Answer 31

jimmy2 | 1.4K opinions shared on Other topic.

Guru

Best to ho with flow

LZPanzer

1 mo
What happens when your flowing river turns to gell

Answer 32

LZPanzer

What happens when your flowing river turns to gell

Answer 33

COMMODOREII | 2.6K opinions shared on Other topic.

Master

Takes time really

Why is it so hard to just let go of control?

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