People that are in a relationship help me out here

Ok, so I have been working a overnight job for the past...umm...about 2 months. The job itself is grand. But I hate the hours, and the fact that I don't get to see my Fiancee very often anymore. I mean I see her right before she goes to work every morning right as I am coming home.

On the days that I she is off I stay up a good part of the day if not all of the day. To spend time with her. That is aok with me I prefer it.

What is bothering me is the fact that on nights that I work, she seems to have the ability to stay up till 2 or 3 in the morning. Then on nights that I am off...boom out before 12.(she doesn't get off til 8 most days) This bothers me because I don't understand it. not to mention what little sex we had before has dropped off even more. Before we would make love maybe once every two weeks. now I think once a month :( I mean we are 22 and 19 we are young wtf is once a month, sh*t? I have tried to talk to her about it but it gets no where. She says it's because we don't use condums as much anymore. So I started using them again and nothing seemed to change. I don't know what the f*** I am doing wrong.

She says she isn't cheating and nothing else that she does makes me think that she is, she stills acts goofey with me like she always has when she is awake. Still does nice things for me. But I am going crazy. I mean to be serious I'm kinda worried to marry her. If I'm only getting it once a month now, once we get married I might as well be a holy man!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • i wouldn't be able to be in a relationship that only featured sex once a month. have you asked her how she's feeling about sex? does she just not feel sexy? reminding her that you care about her feelings and are concerned might help. how often do you go down on her? maybe try worshiping her sexually, lead by example. maybe try to make her feel wanted, a flower or 2, a pair of sexy panties, a racy text, make her breakfast? has she had a lifestyle change? new medications? maybe she just can't sleep when you're not in the bed.

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    • I go down on her every time, safe to say every time. I used to buy her stuff all the time, and do nice things for her. however, I have came into some financial hardships recently. Which she knows about so I would think that she would understand. I think I should give her more foreplay which I thought today. She is always saying that she is "fat" and needs to lose weight no matter what I tell her. she wears a XXS in American eagle shirts for god's sake. I think it is me. Ineedtoloseweigh

    • sometimes insecure girls feel fatter and less worthy if their guy gets fitter. if a girl feels fat they might not want sex. she sounds insecure or sad. sorry

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  • Sex is important. It is a gauge, measuring the health of a relationship. If you feel something is wrong then it is. Talk to her and don't let her dodge the issues. Can you do anything about your hours or job?

    Marriage should not be on the table until you are fully satisfied about the direction you two are heading.

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    • I agree, we haven't set any dates yet. I try to tell her that when we don't have sex very often it makes me worried. But it doesn't seem to change anything.

    • That is a red flag. How does she feel about premarital counseling ?

  • working night shift can be hard on relationships. personally my boyfriend works at night. but he has the weekends off so we spend that time together. do you have weekends off? as for the sex it could be her hormones? is she on any kind of contraceptive it could be that? also for the staying up thing, I'm the same haha. I think I do it because when he is at work I really want to text him so I can stay up longer but then when I am with him I can't but I still get to be with him. and just saying sex shouldn't be the main thing determining if you will marry her?

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