How can I make this girl want something more with me?, if there is any chance...

Long story short, I met this girl in university class, at first we texted a lot and talked on the phone. I assumed she liked me so I asked her out. First time she said yes but then canceled. Second time same thing. Third time after class she said yeah but she had already left so I went to pick her up but we ended up sstaying at her place, talking and hanging out, didn't want to risk trying something cause I really liked her and I mean wanted to get to know her. So on the weekend I went on a trip, brought her a small gift and tried to tell her we should hang out more and that I wanted to know her better the problem was that I actually said (I don't know what I said) I was so nervous (which I usually don't get) but I was so I said something like I like you and bla balbal oh sorry I'm so nervous blabalba! so I messed it up I guess... :S anyways the next couple of days I see her with this other guy, going everywhere istead of hanging out with me, when I called she didn't reply but she texted like oh I'm sorry I didn't pick up blabla but then she wouldn't answer again. I supposed she lost interest... so I backed away, later I mean I really like her so I called her again she didn't answer but she always texts me oh I'm sorry can you call me again, so I do, sometimes she answers sometimes she dont. In class she would look at me and if I saw her looking she would turn around quickly, so I mean maybe she physically likes me or something. Anyways she is always looking so beautiful and everyday I find something more beautiful about her!, but we don't talk that much anymore, I try appoaching but with so many people around in class, her fiends, my friends its really hard, I think she has been going out with some guy, not sure, but they always hang cause they are friends and he is in her friend group, he is my friend as well and I know he is a player I mean he hucked up with about 5 girls in the class, so I think something is going on between them I know he probably has tried, but nothing is for sure, anyways I really like her and I want to know if there is any chance I might get her to want something with me and how. Like I said, she looks at me like she does, specially when I get all dressed up for some reason, there might be attraction but maybe I went too fast, or messed up with what I said when I gave her the girft, also there is the other guy thing, if she is into him, it will be harder and I also have my pride, I mean I don't wanna be all crazy chacing but yes I want to be with her if posible, this has been going over my mind all weekend since so many days and its really hard I mean if there is no chance at all I can drop it, but something tells me there is, this might be only what I think but maybe I need someone else point of view... so if you can help me please answer this ...haha thanx...

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Here's what you need to do; stop contacting her as often as you do.

    This girl is playing games, now you have to decide whether you are going to play this game or are you going to put your foot down because it's hurting you?

    This girl sounds pretty flakey to me, I wouldn't give her another chance if I was you. But this is your friend and I think you probably like her a lot. If you feel that this is something you really want to pursue, then you should.

    But definitely put a limit on how much you are going to give in. If she is seeing this other guy you may have to back off. Maybe they had something going on before you started making your moves?

    These kinds of things happen all the time and she might just like this other guy more. I know that hurts but you never know. But if she keeps asking you to call her back, yet she won't answer the phone, that is a bad sign.

    If a girl is interested in you she hates to miss your call. And if she does she calls you back as soon as possible because she is excited to talk to you and find out what's up. Even if you just want to say hey.

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    • i know that's true, the thing is I thought maybe she is playing the "im proud game lets see if he calls me again" you know like she said ill call you back or call me if I forget, I thought well if she is interested she won't forget, but maybe she just doest feel like calling becaus she is proud? I don't know I don't want to make up excuses really but this happens right? what do you think, by the way that time she didn't call and I called but she didn't pick up so I let it be...

    • I don't know if she is not answering because she's proud. It might just be an ego trip thing. Maybe she wants to use this as a way to feel powerful because she has two guys who are basically at her beck and call? Who knows. But I would definitely be careful.

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  • well she might be under the impression that you saw her more of a friend rather than a girlfriend. when you hung out you should have told her the way you felt about her or you should have made a move on her. even if you did want to get her more...when a girl hangs out with you that is your chance. rather than worry about being rejected should have just been honest that way she could have either agreed and dated/hooked up with you or said no and rejected u. don't worry if a girl rejects you its better to be honest and shot down than not tell her how you feel that way a girl can't manipulate you with her behavior if you are honest with her and how you feel about her. I can relate to you and making mistakes like you when I was your age but you learn from your mistakes and as you get older you realize honesty is the best policy especially when it comes to women/dating.

    at this point based on what you said to me I would honestly back off a bit not even look at her text her call her etc . I know its hard to do but you gotta restrain yourself...i mean I know what its like to be crazy about one girl and not even wanna look at other women trust me. but you are in college where there is a ton of beautiful sexy intelligent available women. I would play the field and look elsewhere and find other women. interestingly if you date or meet other women this girl you like may become interested. in dating/seduction it is key to back off and lay low and let the girl your interested about wonder about u. everyone kinna likes what they can't have. let her become re-interested.

    but as I said try doing what I said and after a month or so see if her behavior changes and she starts talking to you on her own I bet she will. if you ever get the opportunity to hang with her again tell her how you feel or make a move forget about wanting to know her better that will come later. best to do this in person.

    but as I said if all else fails and if you are shy or nervous you gotta tell her EXACTLY how you feel about her, etc. you obviously like her. if you are too shy to do it in person forget texting or Facebook nonsense. write the girl a letter and tell her how you feel about her, you can't stop thinking about her etc.. as I said when you are honest with a girl you will feel better, you will not lose sleep, and she can no longer manipulate u. so b HONEST and just do it. there is a book I read years ago called MODE ONE: Let the woman know what you are thinking by alan currie its a phenomenal book and is empowering . pick it up dude trust me. you can get it used and cheap off amazon , the net, or any bookstore. good luck.

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    • yeha that's good advice haha, so yeha actually I stopped talking too much to her already, I don't call her or text, I do try to talk to her in class but I try not to be obvious, she comes to me many times to ask stuff about the class but it could mean something or not so I don't pay too much attention to that cause later she leaves, she does not stay to hang out haha, well my question to you is now, maybe you can help me out, we are gonna have vacations from December to jan

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    • never mind that was a stupid question ha ha I'm just gonna move on and if something comes up naturally ill be straight honest and see what happens hahaha

    • Good luck and yeah during vacation I would ask her out but before you do that I would try to pry and find out whether she is dating someone or not. if yes then do not ask her to get together on vacation. if she is free then ya ask her out then make your move and tell her your feelings

  • Lol wow, we need more guys like you, but I will tell you this: you come off as too strong! You're not with her, why the heck did you get her a gift ?ARe you trying to BUY her affection? No, and its college, you're not supposed to be this seroius, maybe YOU are, but apparently, she doesn't seem ready for that, and you might be putting too much pressure on her with you "sweet guy" act. Back off a bit, and MAN UP! show her your not going to take it. its the same iwth guys, when they find out a girl likes them, they stop playing the chasing game right? because the thrill is in the chase itself. but I know for me, when a guy has liked me, its been boring for me, like I haven't cared to "like them" back because they took the fun of chasing, or trying to get their attention away. I know it doenst make sense, but neither does this stupid game of love. if she really liked you, she wouldn't not be seen with another guy, not even her bro, so that you wouldn't think she's taken or soemthing, so she doesn't care, and/or is trying t o show you that she's not interested, so just back off, seroiusly, try again in a few years, so find soemnoe else- someone else who will make her jealous of what she left behind.

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    • hahaha yeah I did backed away and I wast trying to buy her attention, it was just a small gesture not a big gift! and its not college, its not the same thing in my country, its kinda different, university is not about frats and parties haha, although we do party but anyways yeha I did backed away just wanted to know from other points of view if there was a chance, I like her a lot, but if she is playing that game, without giving me the chance then I'm fine just wanted to make sure haha...

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    • Wow, exclusive, that's so nice. Where do you live? I wanna move there. lol. Anyway, I know how you feel, I'm only 22 and looking for something serious yet not too serious, but guys here are all over the place. But no matter the location, guys are guys, and girls are girls. My advice applies to anyone, anywhere.

    • yeha it probably does pbut there are certain circumstances that vary, but anyways thanks for the advice hahaha

  • She can cancel once, it can happen to everybody. She can cancel twice, who knows, sometimes it happens. But at the third time, she's really not interested, otherwise she would do all she can to be here.

    I think she's just playing with you, and you should just ignore her from now on.

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  • You can't "make" someone want something if they don't. You can only try, & if she still doesn't want to get serious, accept that it's not going to work.

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    • haha yeah I know MAKE sounds wrong ha ha I just didn't know how to state the question hahaha...

  • Sounds like she liked the attention she was getting - but had no interest at all. Move on to someone else.

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