My boyfriend and I are starting to run out of things to talk about... should I be worried?

Maybe this is more on my behalf than his... but I'm starting to get worried he is losing interest. Sometimes I feel like he's absolutely crazy about me and then other times it's like he doesn't really care as much? I'm not sure if that's the right way to describe it.

Lately though, it seems like we have nothing to talk about... and he makes it kind of clear. Maybe he just doesn't like talking on the phone or texting at all. In person he's been quiet lately... I'm quiet and I need someone kind of chatty. He used to be pretty talkative. Maybe he's said all he can say?

On the phone though... after like 15-20 min has gone by he is generally like "well, I guess we don't have anything else to talk about." Sometimes when I tell him personal stuff going on in my life he just kind of says uh huh and doesn't really offer any insight. when I ask him if he's even listening he can always verbatim repeat back what I've said though.

I don't know... I'm so confused. The first few weeks we dated we could be on the phone for two hours and have no problem talking. He seems to be out of things to say to me. Maybe it's because I'm a girl? He talks to his friends some... mostly about sports and whatnot. I have little to contribute in my sports knowledge, but I really try.

I'm starting to think we lack chemistry... Shouldn't conversation be easy, not a challenge? I mean, I'm pretty sure he's really into me... he's told his entire family about me. He's bought me jewelery and a stuffed animal and he cooks for me. I don't know what happened though... it's like that spark burned out... and yet he still wants me around kind of? I don't know. Sometimes it's there, sometimes it's not. I don't know what's going on, but I do like him and I don't want to say anything in case it's just nothing. Why start a fight for no reason... but I am worried.
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24

Most Helpful Guy

  • You're smothering him. He probably doesn't even realize that's what is happening.

    He needs space - he needs a life, and time with his friends, apart from you. A little bit, every week.

    Then there's a chance he'll have something to talk about with you, some event or whatever, where you weren't there, and so you don't already know everything he has to say.

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    • hm yeah, that's fine. I don't mind at all. I'm actually way happier if that makes him happier! I was worried he was just losing interest. I actually kind of don't like talking on the phone every day... he suggests it all the time. I feel like I'm just talking to talk when we're on the phone... so this is good!

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23
  • God no... you have problems talking? No big deal. How about you two go out and DO STUFF then you can have things to talk about. Do stuff together. You'll always have stuff to talk about.

    And even then, you two should give each other some space. It'll help. And ya, talking over the phone too much can be kinda really annoying. That might be a problem. Try another way.

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  • When you're trying to talk to him every single second of the day, it can be quite annoying, and run out of things to say...every couple of days is perfectly acceptable when not living together. That way if you guys have anything new to talk about it, you can go out and talk about it. Most couples don't realize that relationships, consist of dates, it's not dating, then turn it into a relationship then just fizzle out. That's not how it works

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    • oh. I just don't want him to think I'm ignoring him if we don't talk! I don't mind not talking for a few days. He usually always ends up txting me because I don't want to text him too often. lol I'm confused about the dating to relationship thing you said, sorry.

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    • idk if it bothers me that much or not? generally I come on here to discuss things that I'm curious about... why are you guys so judgmental? sheesh

    • Because people are judgmental, women and men, get over it

  • you're needy little girl, aren't you?

    there's nothing wrong with him, you're the problem here. get some friends and chit chat about nonsense with them.

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    • Idk? I don't know if I'm worried about something legitimate or not. we used to talk for hours... and now he doesn't really have anything to say. Isn't that kind of bad?

    • tell me: how many hours a week (on average) you two spend together? and how many times a week/day you two talk on the phone?

    • hmm... we don't really talk on the phone much. maybe 20 min two nights a week max? we usually have dinner and hang out on Wednesdays and then Friday-Sunday we hang out maybe one or both nights. other than that we are both really busy.

  • Yes. You should freak out. riiiiggghhhtttt...nnnnn...ooo...now. =P I mean hey it happens you know? Sometimes in a relationship especially those that have been going on for a while. I'm sure once something happens you will talk about it. Sometimes you go through certain sh*t in a relationship and some is good and some is bad also some is the same ol' thing =/ but it usually picks up. That's why you spend some time apart to allow you to talk about some things that go on. If you talk ALL the time eventually you're going to run out of things to talk about. hope it helps.

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    • ohh... so being in constant contact is bad then? I guess I was supposed to try to talk to him all the time. Maybe I'll back off on talking to him so much ha

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    • haha yeah, well thanks!

  • i wouldn't worry too much.Mayb you might want put a little space between you two.time makes the heart grow fonder and wen you catch up on things it gives you more to talk about.And wen you do give him space you don't have to make him aware just sit back and see if its working.

    like you don't hav to call him everyday and def don't do it every time your bored

    try hav a special date night and wen you happen to hang out you happen to hang out but don't go out your way to ask him to go places like the grocery store if he don't need any thing

    test it 2 weeks firs.

    and wen you don't talk it mean nothing . me and close friends do this .just chillin watchin TV and doing nothing but we're comfortable and don't over think it

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    • hmmm good idea! we don't talk on the phone very often as it is. is it normal to go a few days without talking to someone?

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