Mixed feelings with ex boyfriend?

Before I ask, here's a little background. My ex boyfriend was my best friend and then we dated for over six years but he decided to cheat on me a few months back with a mutual friend of ours and dumped me for her. Now about 3 months later, we've sorta hung out, texted here and there. We went out for coffee a few days ago, he made a comment that wasn't super funny at all but I started to laugh while saying it isn't funny and laughed even more, he laughed as well and said, ' I'm real glad that you called me because...i miss you,' while smiling at me. A few days later, I invited him over to swim, we sorta swam because the water was too cold on a hot day, it was like ice cubes but after a while we got out and sorta talked, made very small talk then went out for yogurt, casual dinner and went to see a movie. During the first maybe 10-15 mins. into the movie we shared the arm rest and our pinkies touched, I thought nothing of it till he started rubbing his pinky along mine before I knew it, we were holding each others pinkies (something we use to do sometimes and he made the move first) and I looked at him and he was smiling again. I blushed and we kept holding pinkies or rubbed our pinkies for almost the entire movie. He really wants to be best friends with me since we shared a long time together and in our past serious relationship but what does this mean? He's also told me a few other times that he misses me and when we do hug, he always holds me super close and sometimes tight.

He's also admitted about 2 months ago, that he still finds me attractive and really wants to kiss me and not that he doesn't want to or can't but he ' has a good thing going and doesn't want to mess it up' (meaning with the 'friend' he cheated on me with.doesn't help that he cheated on her with me a while back for 3 weeks straight I know , it's a mess. ) Anywho, I still do care about him but I am lost on what any of this means, if that. I am doing my best to move on and no I don't love him the same way but I'm sorta mixed feelings since I am trying to heal.
Updates:
The other thing he sorta 'yelled' at me about a few months back was (again we were a serious couple) that ' maybe he didn't want to be with someone serious right now' . Not to mention everyone at my work knows this 'friend' is and they all agreed that he seriously downgraded because she is a very ugly girl and he has seriously downgraded from me. and so far a lot of ppl, have told me that maybe it's a phase right now that he's going through and since he's said he misses me, it may be a good thing

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  • It sounds like, in spite of what he did, you are still a couple in most respects. He sure doesn't sound happy with the 'friend', does he? In some ways you are so much closer than he could be with the new girl because he hasn't known her for so many years. They don't have the years of shared memories that you two have.

    But he made his choice, and he should move on, rather than dragging things out with you. The same goes for you; you should put strict limits on contact with him and start meeting new people, having new experiences, learning new things, going new places, so that you aren't tempted to revert to your old habits with him.

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    • UPDATe: Maybe you got together too young, and he wants his freedom now. THat's not unreasonable, and you should enjoy YOUR freedom as well, and not always be thinking of going back in time with him. That rarely works. Maybe in a couple of years..you could think of starting a relationship together again.

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  • you know deep inside he did what he did and all of it was a mistake your still thinking of the friendship you had with him..but ask yourself also..your still giving him the chance to hurt you again in the process..i know for a fact that we all deserve to be happy but at what cost? he cheated on you to begin with and now he is still with the so called friend he cheated on you with, another mistake won't correct the mistake he did in the past..best not to prolong this setup and tell him out of respect that you want him to be happy..distance yourself from him as it is the right thing to do..because in the latter part if you want him back and he leaves the other for you again he will probably cheat on you with another girl..Also ask yourself he does not deserve to be called a "best friend" he lied to you and you got hurt in the process.

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  • Even if he's been your best friend, he's not your best friend. He cheated on you and on her, which means he's very likely to cheat on you again, and when that happens, I hope to god he doesn't give you stds that she picked up somewhere.

    You are vulnerable because you're still healing, which means he can get in and really rip out the stitches of your heart. Protect yourself and give yourself time to get some grounding in which you can put your foot down with him so you can have a relationship within your own boundaries. Of course I don't really want you to go out with him anyways, he's just gonna cheat on you again.

    Good luck! :)

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  • You need to separate yourself from him. You will never be able to heal properly if he continues with this behavior of leading you on then pulling back because he seems he's not going to give up the friend who he left you for. In fact he's probably hoping he will have both of you. He likes knowing that you still want him and that's not fair to you. it's best to part ways with him now until all your romantic feelings are completely gone and it is completely platonic. Or don't be a part of his life again until you have found someone else so you won't be tempted to be sucked back up into his manipulations.

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    • @ your update: so does that mean you should downgrade yourself and take back a liar and cheater? It's your call, but don't go cryin to anyone about it if he screws you over again. I think you should upgrade from this guy.

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