I tell myself everyday I deserve more than what I get, so how come I don’t get what I deserve?

Im a different type of girl, a person can lie to me, hurt me, stab me in the back, replace me, put me as their last choice, use me, break my heart, and f*** me over a million times, but at the end of the day none of it really matters to me, I don’t keep a grudge, I forgive and forget because I’ve realized you only live once and wasting my time having left over hate for what they did, wastes my time, when I could be worrying about better things and just move on with my life. I can put a smile on anyone's face, I tend to feel bad for certain people, because I have a heart and try to put myself in their shoes and stop to think of what their going threw.I don’t only notice the bad boys who have a charm, I notice every type of guy. I respect everyone who respects me 100% and I’m probably WAY too nice to people half of the time. I give them what they don’t deserve. I definitely don’t have a ”f*** you attitude” and wouldn’t lower myself to anyone's level just to stand out. I don’t believe in playing a guy, I never saw the point to it, why would I? Just so I can feel satisfied because in the end I broke his heart? I'm the girl that gets attached too easily, I open my heart to anyone, and anyone who I open up to ends up doing something wrong to hurt me. EACH time, and I learn my lesson, one thing I don’t do is make the same mistake twice. Its just that I take chances and risks because nothings worse than not knowing what could of been. I tell myself everyday I deserve more than what I get, so how come I don’t get what I deserve?
Updates:
@ElijahCynicism asked me what I want and I answered:

First of all I want to succeed at my job and go higher.

Second I want to have a house that I would bre the only recent and I'll do what I want.

And third and honestly not so important at this age to find a man that will love me and tolerate me.

I definitely don't think about children and marriage NO.

And I am sure I'll succeed and I'll get what I want but I wanna do it my way not others way.

0|0
510

Most Helpful Guy

  • Stop thinking in terms of Justice. The world doesn't operate on a system of Judicial Justice. Start thinking in terms of Cause and Effect. An analogy...

    Say you're a really, really good swimmer. I'm talking like, Olympic level swimmer. And you start to say to yourself, 'You know what? I'm a good swimmer. I deserve a medal! Why ain't I getting a MEDAL?'

    Now, the reason for that is you haven't entered the Olympics, right? You DESERVE a medal for your ability, but you're not getting one because you haven't tried to get one yet. Enter the Olympics, get the medal. "Buy the ticket, take the ride." That's Cause and Effect. Cause, effect. Not judicial Justice. You're not awarded them immediately for your capabilities. But, that's not your problem, here. Your problem is a much more complicated annal of confusion. What you are doing is;

    'You know what? I'm a good swimmer. I deserve a medal in cycling! Why ain't I getting a medal in CYCLING?'

    You get me? It's now got nothing to do with the fact that you haven't entered the Olympics, it's now because you can't cycle. But you, the talented swimmer, believe you should be rewarded with cycling medals. You believe that your exceptional capability extends to another, unrelated exceptional capability. This is called Cognitive Bias, and a lot of people fall into this trap. The truth is, your good behavior , your civil virtuosity, has absolutely no bearing on your...

    In fact, what are you even COMPLAINING about?

    You haven't even TOLD us. I don't KNOW what you're not receiving, here. I don't know YOU, you can't be abstract. What are you looking for? What is it that you believe you deserve?

    Well whatever it is, there are no Good Behaviour medals here. It's got nothing to do with your being generally decent. I'm generally decent, I got diabetes. I got diabetes because I ate too much sugar, despite being generally decent. (Except I didn't I'm type one diabetic and I was born with diabetes but that's a really bad example so pretend I'm type 2). But you see what I mean, right? Being a good person doesn't entitle you to anything.

    A good experiment for you would be; go out and be a totally f***ing horrible person for a day. Be the opposite of everything you said you were here. Notice how people treat you, notice how you feel. Compare this to your usual day-to-day treatment - THAT is your reward for being decent, you just haven't noticed it because you're decent by default.

    You really don't put a lot of effort into being decent anyway, I bet. You're decent because you'd feel guilty not being decent. That doesn't entitle you to anything particularly special. Whatever you want, there will be steps to achieve it.

    A good trick used by writers and chaos magicians; write down in no more than one sentence exactly what you want. It's called a vibration... Keep that in mind, as you go about your business, as you make plans and try to self-ameliorate. One phrase that sums it up. You have to know your Will as best you can.

    1|2
    0|2
    • First of all I want to succeed at my job and go higher.

      Second I want to have a house that I would bre the only recent and I'll do what I want.

      And third and honestly not so important at this age to find a man that will love me and tolerate me.

      I definitely don't think about children and marriage NO.

      And I am sure I'll succeed and I'll get what I want but I wanna do it my way not others way.

    • Show All
    • I have to admit your answer is the best.

Recommended Questions

Loading...

Have an opinion?

What Girls & Guys Said

59
  • Your reward for not holding grudges is not sitting around being angry at people.

    Why do you give people what they don't deserve? I know why, probably you do too, but spell it out. Is it because you're super nice? Is it because you think if you give to people, they'll give back to you without you asking?

    1|1
    0|0
    • I am nice to people because I believe that you don't behave to someone the have you don't want to behave you.

    • Okay. As you've learned, everyone else is not following the golden rule.

      So why don't you try asking for what you want, and focusing your efforts on people who actually treat you well?

  • I think we all get what we deserve in the end, Anna. We just don't know it right away. All these people who hurt yu will wind up alone, forone thing. And you, defintely, will not. We always take care of those who take risks for us.

    2|0
    0|1
  • Because it's not about what you deserve, it's about what you expect and demand.

    If you're going to let people walk all over you, you're going to get just that.

    2|1
    0|0
  • Life isn't fair, and you have to fight for what you deserve; in this world, it's not gonna be handed to you. Sometimes that means having to be a little mean and saying no when someone asks of you.

    1|1
    0|0
    • That's a strange stance, what is your basis for comparison? I could just as easily say life is fair and you get what you deserve, counting the fight towards it as part of what makes you deserve it. And, really, isn't it, and isn't that what I've just done? Life is incredibly fair.

    • And there, my friends, shows exactly why so many people around the world commit every imaginable crime. The end justifies the means, the murdered got what they deserve.

    • what are you talking about.

  • The bitches get the guys and followers, because they understand what it takes to get what they want, no matter if they deserve it or not.

    But don't worry, if you're really as amazing as you described yourself,there woe be people respecting you somehow. Just live more in humanity and don't make yourself unapproachable like a saint, just mark you boundaries.

    1|0
    0|1
  • It sounds like you are nice, thoughtful and considerate, but you're feelings are being used and abused. From what I read, it sounds like each and every guy did you wrong. Maybe you are investing too much into someone too soon, and you get hurt when it doesn't reciprocate back.

    I think you may have really bad luck with your guy selection, or your trying too hard to make something out of something that isn't really there.

    Just some thoughts.

    0|0
    0|0
  • That in itself is a blessing in disguise! Imagine how much worse your life would be if you didn't have this attitude of "forgive and forget", and instead held a grudge and were mad all the time?

    0|0
    0|0
  • If you accept what you've always gotten... that is all you'll ever get...

    funny thing (well, sad, really) is I know this... but seem unable to change much...

    0|0
    0|0
  • In the words of a great band, the Rolling Stones "You can't always get what you but you just mind find sometimes you get what you need."

    1|1
    0|0
  • Because telling stuff to yourself is not enough, your book of self-esteem is not a miracle box - to have results you have to take real ACTION not just sitting in home and meditating!

    0|0
    1|0
  • "I tell myself everyday I deserve more than what I get, so how come I don’t get what I deserve?"

    Because life isn't fair. Telling yourself you deserve better, doesn't mean you'll magically get it.

    My godfather was my fathers best friend since childhood, and more wonderful kind and generous guy you couldn't hope to meet. But he never married. Could not find a woman who wouldn't treat him like sh*t eventually.

    Just because you say you deserve better (and from what you wrote, it certainly sounds like you do deserve better) doesn't mean the universe listens and pays attention and gives you better.

    Life is not fair.

    1|0
    0|0
  • It always makes me wonder how people all the time say 'Life is uncertain. Anything can happen anytime.' and they also talk about 'What goes around should come around' & 'Life will give you what you deserve' & 'Think positive and things will happen positive'. The whole deserving thing again is subjective. The answer for your question is 'Anything can happen'. There is more probability that you get the effect of your cause. But not 100%. Fairness is again one big inconsistent term. Highly subjective. So the whole question of 'Why don't I get what I deserve' has no consistent answer for it. It happens because it happens.

    1|1
    0|0
  • Look sweetheart, there will always be someone better, screw you in a heart beat, and be nice peri you. There thing is it is never fair. Look my dad was the son of the secretary of state for our country. Then the army took over and killed my grandfather. We lived very poor and had to leave our country. Was it fair? Not in life. In our belief karma might come in this lifetime or next but don't expect because it might never come.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Because you settle for less.

    0|1
    0|1
    • If I was settling for less don't you think I would be happy with what I have?

Recommended myTakes

Loading...