Why do some girls get an "attitude" when you talk to them and they are upset?

I don't get it. This girl was upset about something today. With other people she would try to smile and joke and you couldn't tell she was upset. When I tried and said hello (because she kinda looked sad) she acted like I was bothering her. When I asked het if everything was OK, she was all "i don't want to talk about it" and had this bitchy attitude but only towards me but all chatty and laughs with others.

I finally left her alone but its funny because I know that if I ever have that attitude towards her, she'll get all upset and start crying (it had happened before) why do I get the sh*tty treatment? I want to let it go but I don't deserve this, especially when I'm just showing concern.
Updates:
I havent! Its like she got some bad news earlier and she was upset. I was just concerned because I don't like seeing her like that but everything I "care" she snaps at me when I didn't do anything to her :/
Well, she apologized and said she was upset and was looking for a fight and that with me is "too easy". While I understand being upset I don't get the whole "picking fights" thing :/
Well, I wasn't pressing her to tell me about it. She seemed in a good mood and talked to others but when I tried, she would just snap at me. I wasn't forcing her to tell me, I was just making chit chat. Of course if I did that to her, I would never hear the end of it...

0|0
101

Most Helpful Girl

  • No...I know exactly what is going on. I'm in the same kind of spot as the girl. I have a really great friend who I am avoiding at the moment and I know that I have been rude to him.

    I can laugh and joke around everybody else and pretend that everything is fine and that I'm not bothered - I got dumped 9 weeks before my wedding...nice - but the second that he comes along to talk to me, or trying and see how I'm doing I just can't pretend.

    I think that it is because I made myself emotionally vulnerable to him and I just can't shut them down when he asks me how I am going. I avoid him and don't want to talk to him...because it just brings up the hurt...and the last thing that I want to do...is have to deal with it.

    She probably doesn't want to burden you with her problems, she probably doesn't feel like she should be doing that to you.

    Would I be correct in guessing that you guys are close - not in the sens of best friends (though the same would be true if you were), but I get the feeling that you chat every now and then and are quite personal in some of the stuff that you share? Not over personal...but enough that it isn't the kind of stuff that you talk about with others of the same gender?

    0|0
    0|0

Recommended Questions

Loading...

Have an opinion?

What Girls & Guys Said

91
  • I think it's because she might find you close to her or comfortable with you and so would reveal her true emotions with you. To others, she would try to smile and stuff because maybe she isn't truly close with them and so won't be comfortable letting them know how she is truly feeling.

    OR it could be that you are the reason why she's having a bad day. Maybe you did something to her or did/said something that offended her, or she found out something about you that affects her.

    0|0
    0|0
  • This sounds like the kind of thing I do to some guys when I don't like them...

    Do you know her well?

    Are you friends?

    Have you ever hung out?

    What are the differences in your social groups?

    0|0
    0|0
  • leave her alone. let her come to you, if she even likes you. but if not, build a bridge and get over it and her. :)

    ORRRRRRRRRRRRRR

    maybe she likes you too much that she is not herself when you are around.

    0|0
    0|0
  • dude, shout in the dark... She doesn't like you! Girls only act that way with guys they do NOT like. We're not that complicated, if we like someone we don't do these things...

    0|0
    0|2
  • The fact she said she "didn't want to talk about it" shows something was up with her. But then she is acting all laughy and jokey with people.

    So either she is trying (and failing) to act like nothing is wrong, or, that's her way of dealing with it. Either way, she doesn't want to or seem like she is wallowing in whatever has happened.

    It could be nothing, and she was just randomly upset, and didn't want to make it a big deal, or something had actually happened and she didn't want to talk about it. She might (hopefully) talk about it to someone, but it doesn't seem she wants to fully open up to you, or maybe just not in that setting.

    Don't take her bitchy attitude personally. A lot of people get snappy or seem mean when they're upset, its a defence mechanism. Like the way a wounded dog might try and bite you if you go near it. Unless this continues, don't be off with her, just be your normal self and maybe ask casually if she's okay when not in a crowded/group setting.

    0|0
    0|0
  • For me I don't like people seeing me upset, I'm the one who comforts them when their upset not the other way around. So for me personally it's hard when someone I really trust asks me what's the matter because I just can't hide it around them. Because I trust them. So I think it could go either way. She may no like you but she actually could if she's not hiding anything from you. Deff give her, her space. If she wants to confide in you she will. Just making it known that you care was plenty. I think its so sweet of you to take notice and I'm sure she did too. But she sounds a bit like me, minus the giving people a bitchy attitude haha. She doesn't like people seeing her upset :)

    0|0
    0|0
  • Could she have been upset with you?

    0|0
    0|0
    • She might still just not like you, or maybe she wants you to hug her and pry it out of her.

    • I understand the picking fights thing somewhat. I have a guy friend that I know I can pick fights with when I'm upset because he will it up with it. I only do it because I am comfortable with him.

  • Have you done something bad to her?

    0|0
    0|0
  • she doesn't like you

    0|0
    0|0
  • Sometimes people just need to be alone when they're having a bad day. People respond differently to stress and being upset. She might be someone who becomes withdrawn and snappish. To people who like to "talk about" their feelings, this may seem like they are pretending to up the level of interest from the person trying to get to them to talk. But to someone who just needs to be left alone sometimes, you really aren't hiding anything, you legitimately want to be left alone for a while. Sounds like she was in a bad mood forever reason and she took it out on you because you kept pressing her. You don't deserve it or anything, but it's kinda like trying to pick up an animal when it's stressed -- they may bite you. You should forgive them (and her) if it's not a regular occurance and just remind her that it's not cool to take it out on you if she's upset. And remember that she'll talk to you if she wants and not to push her to do it when she's not in the mood for that.

    0|0
    0|0

Recommended myTakes

Loading...