Does this actually sound like OCD?

Hi, I'm almost 17 years old and I've recently thought that I possibly might have OCD as quite a lot of the symptoms are surprisingly relevant to me. At about 9 years old I started remembering mean/bad things that I did as a child, which would cause me to feel guilt, cry sometimes and once it affected me so much that I felt unwell during school and was sent home. I've been having unwanted thoughts for years that include: Blasphemy against God, horrible name calling about people that I would usually never say out loud, and fear of being a paedophile and harming children which sometimes cause me to avoid children.I also wonder if I would actually mind or care about killing someone, though I would most likely never do this, and makes me think that I could be evil. To try and make these thoughts go away or to stop myself indirectly 'harming' others I pray for forgiveness usually outloud which makes some people think I'm talking to myself, I hit my forehead, poke my skin with force which usually leaves red marks, or bang my hand on a table or slap it.



Recently I have been worrying about spreading a disease/STI

even though I'm a virgin. I worried that a cardigan I've been wearing may conain diseases/ STis and that they would come onto the toilet seat, so I'd wipe the seat afterward and fear that if I didn't God would punish me. I also worry that if I don't do something eg wipe water from the floor even if I didn't cause it, then someone will slip and hurt themselves and it will be indirectly my fault for not doing it. or if I see a knife on the table in the kitchen and I don't put it away or in the sink, then my parents could have an argument and one of them could stab the other with it because I left it there. Sometimes when I have bad thoughts I try to neutralise them or cancel out the bad by thinking of something good or eg if I get the thought about hoping someone will die (which I don't mean) I will say "NOT" at the end of the sentence. I sometimes feel guilty being around loved ones whilst having these thoughts, and I admit it to them but leaving out some details eg fear of being a paedophile, as I'm scared they will think I really am one. I also ask for reassurance quite a lot.

The problem is mostly based on my thoughts, but some of it is physical aswell eg, I wash my hands and palms for sometimes quite long to make sure they're clean. I sometimes get scared to wash up or cook for others incase I may poison them, and I rinse dishes for quite a long time to avoid poisoning people with any kitchen soap left on the dishes. If I lock a door, I sometimes repeatedly check that it's locked.

This stuff doesn't make me really depressed or anything but I sometimes don't think I'm normal, and wanted to know if this is likely to be OCD, sorry it was so long! Thanks a lot :) xx


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I am not being flippant when I say that you need intervention. Start with your pastor, priest or rabbi and get a faith based referral.

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  • yes.. it’s called hurt ocd, please pm me. i have it too. it started off as me thinking i would kill myself so i tried avoiding knives, pills, bleach, all that stuff. And it caused horrible panic attacks. Now i’m thinking back to when i was maybe 11 and how i was mean to my bird. That i might of abused it. And also i’m scared (as bad as it sounds) i raped my niece...

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  • Lol and I thought I was bad.

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  • Sounds exactly like very severe OCD.

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